Suffering
by Bettlebug
Summary: Daniel can't deal with the guilt and pain he feels from Hathor's visit to the SGC. Will his friends be able to save him from himself? And what happens when Daniel meets Hathor another time? Can he make it? Please R & R. I am not good at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

The water was hot. Too hot. But Daniel didn't care. It was cleansing, burning away the disgrace, the guilt. _If only._

Many horrible events had happened over the last few months in his search for his wife, but nothing like this. He hadn't been faithful, he had betrayed her. She wouldn't want him now, if she knew, if she'd seen.

Daniel was shaking. He didn't think he could stand, so he sat, under the burning water.

"Daniel? Are you in there?" Jack called. "Daniel?" His voice echoed in the empty locker room.

Daniel couldn't respond. Surely Jack knew what he had done. He would be angry with Daniel for giving in to Hathor, for not fighting. For not being stronger, a soldier.

He could argue he had tried, that he could not fight her spell. But he hadn't even tried. He had failed. He wasn't strong enough.

Daniel heard the door close. Hopefully Jack had gone. Hopefully he hadn't come in to see who was showering. Hopefully he wouldn't notice. _Of course he will notice… He just wont care… _

Jack walked in to Daniel's office and was surprised by the emptiness. It was the same office, but with out it's constant occupant. _Where could he possibly be? Maybe with Sam, bouncing ideas around?_

So he went to see Sam. Near her office he could hear clicking and beeps. Sam was busy on her computer when Jack knocked. "Daniel here?" he asked. She shook her head. "Last I saw him Janet was taking him to the infirmary to make sure… she hadn't hurt him. But you should see this scenario I'm running for the artifact from P3X…"

Jack waved his hand at her, making her stop. "Don't care, Carter. If you decide to take a break sometime today, I was going to rent some movies, order a pizza and drink some beers. We need some team time away from the mountain," he said, waving his arm to the cement walls all around them. "We could use some down time. Teal'c is Kel-no-whating while I come to invite you and Daniel. But Daniel must have his Jack sense on, because I can't find him. He must know I want to steal him away from his precious work." Jack smirked.

Sam couldn't help but smile. "Check the infirmary, Janet might know." She paused. "What time?"

"Anytime, Carter. Anytime." With that, he left. Daniel had better be in the infirmary. Jack felt his knees ache. They had had a hard day and deserved a break he figured.

Janet was taking care of some of the men who had been affected by Hathor more than others. Now that Daniel had left, she had more time. She had to admit, Daniel was worrying her still, even though he appeared to be okay. She alone knew what had happened. She had noticed him draw away inside himself. But she had sworn not to tell anyone unless General Hammond required it of her. She remembered him asking, pleading, for her to not tell anyone. He was ashamed.

The doors to the infirmary swung open. Jack walked in, looking around him.

"Doc! How's life? Good, where are you storing Daniel away?" Jack said.

"Ah, he said he was going to shower and then head home. I already have a officer waiting to drive him home."

"Has he left yet?"

Janet shook her head. "I'm not sure, sir. I sent him away about half an hour ago." _Against my will._ She hadn't wanted to let him leave after he'd –briefly- told her how his DNA had gotten in the newborn symbiotes, but he had begged her, and looked at her with those hurt lost eyes. She couldn't help it. Anyways, there was nothing physically wrong with him. Nothing she could hold him in for with out slipping his secret.

Jack frowned. He noticed something in the small doctor's eyes. A guilt. He looked hard at her for a moment, then decided it probably had nothing to do with him, the facility or where Daniel was hiding from him.

Finding Daniel was a lot harder than he'd expected. _Always making me work harder, aren't you Daniel. Off to the showers, I guess. _And wearily he trudged away.

Lt. Peterson climbed behind the wheel of the SUV the army had provided him with. He wasn't in a good mood. _When I joined the air force, I didn't think that chauffer was going to be my job. What would my dad think if he could see this now? He was so proud of me when I joined. 'Helping our country is as honorable as it gets' he'd said. And now I drive those honorable people when they are too ill to drive themselves,_ He thought angrily. It didn't help that his passenger hadn't spoken a word, not even introduced himself. Not that Peterson didn't know who he was. Most people did.

He started up the engine, and put the car into drive. All he had to do was leave the Cheyenne Mountain complex and drive Dr. Daniel Jackson into Colorado Springs, drop him off at his apartment and leave. Then he could get back to his regular duties until someone **else** needed to be driven home. He shot a glance at the man beside him.

He never had realized how small Dr. Jackson was. Never had he looked little before, but now…

Daniel got out of the car stiffly, without a word to the driver and stalked to his apartment building. He could feel the officer's eyes on his back. He knew what he was thinking. _They all think the same thing. They can see it, they know. They know I've betrayed her. That I failed, I wasn't strong enough. _He choked back a sob. Breathing was getting hard as a thick lump formed in his throat. His breaths came in short rasps. He could hear the car start up again and leave with a roar. It was getting dark out, but there were still plenty of people around. Daniel felt them watching him. Judging him from the worst mistake he had ever made. It made him stand stiffly straight, and walk slightly robotically. It was unnatural and awkward.

The doorman opened the door "Good evenin' to you, Dr. Jackson." But Daniel didn't answer. He could tell the doorman was surprised. Usually Daniel would greet him cheerfully back. Not today. It didn't matter that it was cold and callous. Nothing mattered now. Nothing, because Daniel knew what they were thinking. He could almost hear it ringing, echoing in his head as so many people thought it. _Unfaithful. Liar. A hateful being. His wife is waiting for him to rescue her and he is too busy with Her, he didn't fight it. He wanted it. She was beautiful. She was there, She had said she wanted him, loved him. And he had forgotten about his wife. He hadn't fought. He gave in to what he wanted. He was UNFAITHFUL! _The thought hurt him, cutting him like a knife. His heart bled. _Nothing matters, nothing…_

Jack frowned when he hadn't found Daniel in the showers. Well, he hadn't looked that hard in the showers. He figured Daniel would at least have to dignity to answer his call if he'd been in there. Anyways, he wasn't going to go and check each shower and accidentally find someone else.

So Daniel must have gone home. Jack would call him, but first he had to get Teal'c and out of this building before something happened and kept him here.

In half an hour, Jack had round up Teal'c and convinced Carter to leave with them to help pick out a movie. Otherwise, she would be left at their mercy as to what they would be watching. Not always a good thing.

Now he had a carload to people and was headed off to a movie rental building near his house. He had given Carter the job of calling Daniel. He admitted to himself that his team was a lot closer than they were supposed to be. How couldn't they be? But it felt odd to Jack calling them by their first names, calling them on the phone, and other such personal business after all the years of it being looked down upon in his career. In Black Ops it was best to not know the people working around you because it just hurt more when they had to make a hard choice that could involve someone's death. Sometimes you just can't help it.

Currently, Carter was waiting, phone on cheek for Daniel to answer. The phone kept ringing and ringing. Finally an answering machine picked up.

"_You've reached Daniel Jackson, sorry I am not here right now. I will call you back as soon as I can if you leave your name and number. Please leave a message after the beep. __**Beep**_."

"Hey Daniel, it's Sam. Colonel O'Neill has invited us all over for movies and dinner. He tried to catch you before you left but I guess you were too quick for him." She laughed a little, making Jack smile. "Anyways, if you want any choice in the movies, call ASAP or you will regret it. Come on over whenever you get this. See you later tonight." And with that she hung up. "See, sir, that wasn't so hard." She joked as she passed the phone back up to Jack.

"Not hard. Never said it was. I am driving Sam. Did you offer to drive? No. So you get to call Daniel." He said sarcastically, but he smiled.

Teal'c turned to Sam. "What is ASAP?" he asked, his eyebrow rose.

Sam laughed at his question. "I always forget that you're not from here. It means…" and she went into her long winded explaination...

Daniel heard the phone ring. He heard the answering machine pickup and Sam leave her message. It sounded so light hearted and happy. How could she talk like that after this had happened? Why had she called? He didn't understand. Why hadn't Jack called? Did he know? Of course he knew! Jack wasn't stupid, no matter how he pretended. Why had they invited him over? So they could pry out of him every detail? So they could blame him for everything? So Jack could kick him off SG-1, finally being rid of his only opponent? Sure, Sam and Teal'c would do whatever Jack said; follow him to his death, but Daniel, no. He didn't want to die. Or he hadn't wanted to die before. Now he didn't care because nothing mattered. Nothing. The thought made him hurt more, tears streamed down his face as he huddled more into the corner he was currently located in between his bed and the wall. Nothing mattered. He shook convulsively. Except Sha're, but she would not want him now. He had betrayed her, he had promised himself that he would wait for her, find her, save her. Now he couldn't. He was damaged. He was unfaithful. Nothing mattered, nothing. Then nothingness took him as he drifted into a restless sleep.

Jack wouldn't say it, but he was worried when there was no message on his machine at home from Daniel when they arrived. They had picked out some movies. There was a false alarm at one point when the phone rang and turned out to be a wrong number. Jack thought that Sam felt it too. Something was certainly wrong. How had Daniel left before them, someone else driving him home, and still wasn't there? Unless he hadn't gone home, but where would he be? Daniel didn't have any friends after being gone for a year. He didn't work anywhere else. Teal'c pulled was put in charge of picking out the first movie and setting it up as Jack went to call for Pizza. Sam followed Jack. "Sir, I think we should call Daniel again." She said, looking down. "Okay. I'll call for the Pizza and then I'll call Daniel."

She looked up. "Can I call him sir?" She continued when Jack looked at her with suspicion in his eyes. "I want to ask him about something."

"About?" He asked, pretending to be interested.

"Nothing," she looked down. "Just a thing about a thing..." she drifted off.

Jack nodded his head. Not satisfied. Normally he couldn't get Sam and Daniel to stop talking about what they were doing, and now Sam wouldn't even start.

Jack quickly called for the pizza delivery then he hung up and left Sam to call Daniel.

"_Daniel, it's me again. I just wanted to see if you are okay. I think I know what you meant by the DNA being yours now. Please call me soon." _Daniel could hear a certain amount of desperation in her voice_. "I haven't told Jack or Teal'c. If you don't call back I'll come and check on you later. We're all at Jacks house if you need to see someone or talk to anyone about it. We miss you." _The phone beeped, signaling that she hung up. She had sounded defeated at the end. He knew she didn't really care. She just wanted to be sure, so she could abandon him, like the rest of the world. He didn't blame them. He would have left too. But it didn't matter. She hadn't failed, not like him.

Jack had been waiting around the corner as Sam called Daniel, hoping to hear what she said. The Teal'c came up. "I require assistance with your equipment." He startled Jack, making him embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping on two of his best friends. Jack nodded, still straining to hear the hushed tone of Sam's voice. He heard one bit that stood out in his mind. _"I think I know what you meant by the DNA being yours now."_ And that was all he got. He left, inwardly regretting it, to help Teal'c with the movies.

Sam came into the room soon after.

"Did you catch him?" Jack asked.

"No," she shook her head. "He didn't pick up."

"Tell you what, Carter. You and Teal'c hand here and wait for the Pizza. Money's on the table. I'll go get Daniel since he is playing hard to get." He'd pieced it together. He understood now. He knew the Daniel would be ashamed. He needed to get to him, to pull him from his fortress before the drawbridge was all the way up.

"I can go, sir." Sam said, standing up straighter than before, a fake willing smile on her face.

Jack shook his head nonchalantly. "No need. You've had a hard day, put up your feet and rest a bit. I can go get Daniel."

Sam looked at him, as though she was trying to figure out if he knew or not. She was biting her bottom lip, a bad habit she had when she was thinking hard.

She spoke cautiously, "He may be a little… out of it… sir, after the whole Hathor event, sir. He did get hit harder than most" _all _"of the men."

Jack looked her in the eye and hoped she could see that he already knew. "I know, Carter," was all he said, but he could see that she understood. She nodded, relaxing slightly.

Jack threw on his coat and grabbed his keys. "Be back in a bit."


	2. Chapter 2

Daniel looked mournfully at the clock. He hadn't slept since Sam's second call had awoken him from nightmares of Her. He wished to speed up time, to age quickly, and leave this tormenting world behind. Then it struck him. He didn't care. Not now. Not ever again. He wanted it to be over. He pulled himself up off the ground, his glasses falling off. He didn't need them any more. Quickly he dressed in dark clothes. Mourning colors for a funeral. His funeral. He left the house. He left everything. Everything save one picture he had of his wife. It was in his hand. She would come with him to see that he had paid for his terrible crime. She would watch over him, see him cleansed. See it end.

Jack drove fast. Much too fast. It made him nervous that Daniel wasn't responding. He called again, the phone ringing again and again. "Come on Daniel. Pick up the damn phone! I know you're there. I know what happened. I'm coming to get you. I'll take you to my place. You can stay with me for a few days."

Daniel heard the phone ring again. He almost answered out of fear, need, wanting to be accepted. He pulled his hand back at he remembered. He held in close to him, like a child who had reached to touch fire to find in burned him. He listened to the message. Jack knew! Daniel knew he knew! He was going to get him, to take him away, to chide him on being so weak, for failing him, for failing the SGC, for failing his wife. Daniel froze in his thoughts for a moment. Part of him wanted to stay, to accept what ever was coming. He knew deep down that Jack wouldn't hurt him… would he? The doubt scared him, pulling him back to the dilemma at hand. It didn't take long to decide. Jack didn't need to see him like this. Daniel grabbed a kitchen knife. It wasn't very sharp, but it was better than nothing. And so he left.

Daniel wandered around the streets. Trying to find somewhere, something to give him an idea of how to do this. For all his intelligence, he hadn't ever thought about this. He never thought this would, could happen. He hadn't thought of what to do. He shivered. It was cold out. He found himself across the street from his apartment after only fifteen minutes. A pair of lights came racing up, the car stopping by the building. The driver left in such a hurry his door didn't close all the way and the lights were still on.

Daniel knew who it was, even though his sight was fuzzy without the glasses on. His head hurt. He needed to sit. He could sit in the car! It was open! _No! I can't he'll be there. Hell will be there, _he thought. _Must run, go somewhere else._ And his animal instincts took over. He ran. He escaped to the edge of the city and into the woods. Into the darkness.

Jack noticed the answering machine beeping, saying there were three messages. No one had answered his knock; so he'd let himself in, with some help from a lock pick set. Daniel would forgive him. Jack looked around. He could see Daniel anywhere obvious. "Don't hide from me Daniel." He saw Daniel's clothes on his bed. "You didn't put your clothes away," he grumbled. He went by the bedside to fold them, and a faint reflection of light caught his eye. He looked down. Daniel's glasses lay on the ground, arms stretched as though waiting to huge Daniel's head again. Jack picked them up. They didn't look damaged at all. Then Jack got an idea. He looked under Daniel's bed. No one there. So Daniel was really gone. Jack looked through the apartment one last time. No sign of Daniel. And something was missing. The picture of Sha're Daniel kept at his night table beside his bed.

Then he knew Daniel wasn't there. He grabbed his phone "Captain, we have a situation…"

Daniel was scared and lost. And cold. And hungry now that he thought of it. It had gotten dark, and he couldn't see. He knew there was wildlife out here. He had fallen in his wild running. Just over a log, but he'd twisted his knee and he had lost his picture. It would have been better if he'd had his glasses on. God, his knee **hurt**. Then he remembered his phone. He had is cell phone. He pulled it out and used its light to see around him. He needed her picture. The ground was wet and cold. He shivered. He pulled himself onto his elbows and held the phone up. It let out a soft blue light he saw something reflect the light and dragged himself forward. The photo of Sha're smiled at him. "How are you happy? I have failed you." Some how saying it out loud made it all that much more true. He choked on the onslaught of tears. "I'm sorry… So sorry… I don't know how I could have done this to you… please forgive me… God I'm sorry!" He grasped the picture and slowly pulled himself up with his throbbing knee. He held her tightly. "Its all my fault... All my fault… If I had been there, I could have saved you… I could have saved you... None of this would have happened..." he moaned. His knee ached in response. He hobbled along, having no idea where he was. "God Sha're. I'm so scared. So scared. Torn. I can't take this guilt!… the guilt… I don't want to die. I don't want to die. But the guilt! I can't believe I did this! God!… I deserve to die. I need to die, to make it all better… All better…" he repeated himself, faintly. He looked at the phone. It had messages on it. Probably from Jack.

Jack…

He seemed so far away… He seemed like a faint fuzzy warm memory. One call. It wouldn't hurt. It couldn't hurt. One last chance, for old times sake. He pushed the button. The phone dialed. It picked up almost immediately. "Where are you, Daniel?" The phone was still in his hands. "Daniel?"

He moved it towards his ear, shivering, shaking. Wide eyed like a scared child. "I don't know Jack. I don't know." Tears slide down his face. He sat down, his knee hurt too much standing.

"What do you mean you don't know? For Christ sake how did you get there? We'll come and find you. Don't go anywhere."

"I don't know… I don't know…" his voice cracked. Jack was mad at him. He needed to go. He needed to leave him so he wouldn't have to be mad anymore. Never again…

"I'm sorry Jack…Tell her I'm sorry." And he hung up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Damnit, Daniel! Don't hang up on me!" Jack screamed at his phone. He knew it was no use, the phone had already disconnected. He dialed Daniel's cell again, but no one answered. He called the SGC and told Hammond to get someone tracking Daniel's cell phone call. Then he called Sam and Teal'c. "I'm coming over to get you. We're going on a search and rescue mission."

Daniel felt the phone ring. He almost left it on the forest floor, but decided it had come in handy having a light, he might need it again. He limped heavily until he found a stick he used to put his weight on. _Not that I deserve it. I should have to suffer like everyone I have made suffer. Sha're… I'm sorry… I love you… I hope you know that…_

He walked slowly, attempting to figure out where he had come from. He didn't want to die a slow painful death of starvation or being eaten by wolves or coyotes. Not that he didn't deserve it. The tears came back. Heavy tears. Many of them. A floodgate opened letting it all come. He sat, he couldn't see through them. Too many. He was tired… so tired.

Daniel shot up from where he lay. It had been a horrible nightmare. It played what Hathor had done, what he had done over and over again. He had lived through it over and over again. It renewed his hurt and his resolve to end it all. He felt a prickly itch on his arm and realized he was covered in pine needles. He could see them. See them? He looked up, squinting, as the sun shone through. He heard something. A voice. A couple voices. They seemed so far away but they hadn't been there before. He pulled himself up once again and continued traveling. This time, into the woods, at least he thought he was heading into the woods. This time away from the voices. He couldn't let them know… not yet… not until it was too late…

Jack had picked up Sam and Teal'c. The SGC had found out where Daniel's last phone call had come from and had called Jack. Daniel was somewhere in the woods north of the city. Jack couldn't imagine why. But now he understood why Daniel wasn't sure where he was. But what Daniel had said scared him. _"I'm sorry Jack… Tell her I'm sorry."_ What did that mean? He hoped it didn't mean what he was thinking. It truly scared him, a feeling he was not well acquainted with.

Sam and Teal'c hadn't asked any questions. Presumably they knew what he meant. Presumably that meant that Teal'c had figured it out. The had driven to the edge of the city and then taken flashlights into the woods. There was little hope of finding Daniel, but they had the world's best tracker on their side. There was some hope.

Daniel hobbled. It hurt. Bad. It almost released the torment he felt inside. Almost. His nightmares no longer remained in the night. He could see Her with his waking eyes. Tired, hurting eyes. Nothing could block the memories. They blinded him with his own guilt and feelings on inferiority and weakness. Tears came and went. Now he was almost too tired to weep. He couldn't think straight. Not that he had since this event anyways.

_I didn't deserve you, Sha're. I should never have come. None of this would have happened. I shouldn't have taken Catherine's offer. I should have lived on the streets until I could find a different job, a different town where no one knew me. This is all my fault! I should have been there to save you… God! All my fault! _The wave a guilt he'd felt for years grew stronger and enveloped him. Nothing could be felt outside the terrible anguish. He was trapped in a world of pain and agony.

It had been an hour, or about that. Daniel had finally escaped the voices as he tried to avoid leaving a trace. They had been puzzled. He could tell. He managed to leave them behind. Far enough that he should be able to succeed in his dreaded deed before they caught up. _I should have done this last night before they had even had the time to find me! _He thought irritably at himself. _Just one last thing to screw up, huh! Just couldn't help you're self! _He pulled the knife out of the back pocket he had stored it in under his shirt. It caused some trouble as it caught on the threads it had been eating through. It had already created a small wholein his pant pocket. Time to get it over with, to end all pain and suffering for himself and his friends…

Jack had straightened up on his old aching knees. He was too old for this. _God Daniel! Why are you doing this to me? Haven't we gone through enough already!_ He sighed. He was tired. Dead tired. He hadn't slept in… a long time…

"I believe Daniel Jackson when this way," Teal'c interrupted Jack's thoughts. Jack nodded. He knew that his team was just as tired as he was. Jack motioned for Teal'c to lead the way. He didn't honestly believe that he could keep the weariness from his voice.

Daniel felt cold. Everything was oozing from him. It hurt but no more than he deserved. Both his arms were slashed deeply. Another few minutes and he would be gone. He smiled sadly to himself. _It's over, Sha're. It's over. Please forgive me. I didn't want her. I thought it was you… You…God I miss you… I never really realized just how much you meant until you were gone… I hope you are all right… I know that you can't be inside that… That monster!_ _Not that I am much better than me... I betrayed you... I am a monster too... _Blackness came. Finally a senseless blackness. Nothingness. Peace…


	4. Chapter 4

"Damnit Daniel! Don't hang up on me!" Jack screamed at his phone. He knew it was no use, the phone had already disconnected. He dialed Daniel's cell again, but no one answered. He called the SGC and told Hammond to get someone tracking Daniel's cell phone call. Then he called Sam and Teal'c. "I'm coming over to get you. We're going on a search and rescue mission."

Daniel felt the phone ring. He almost left it on the forest floor, but decided it had come in handy having a light, he might need it again. He limped heavily until he found a stick he used to put his weight on. _Not that I deserve it. I should have to suffer like everyone I have made suffer. Sha're… I'm sorry… I love you… I hope you know that…_

He walked slowly, attempting to figure out where he had come from. He was too tired to continue. He sat down on the cold, cruel ground. He didn't want to die a slow painful death of starvation or being eaten by wolves or coyotes. Not that he didn't deserve it. The tears came back. Heavy tears. Many of them. A floodgate opened letting it all come. He sat, he couldn't see through them. Too many. He was tired… so tired.

Daniel shot up from where he lay. It had been a horrible nightmare. It played what Hathor had done, what he had done over and over again. He had lived through it over and over again. It renewed his hurt and his resolve to end it all. He felt a prickly itch on his arm and realized he was covered in pine needles. He could see them. See them? He looked up, squinting, as the sun shone through. He heard something. A voice. A couple voices. They seemed so far away but they hadn't been there before. He pulled himself up once again and continued traveling. This time, into the woods, at least he thought he was heading into the woods. This time away from the voices. He couldn't let them know… not yet… not until it was too late…

Jack had picked up Sam and Teal'c. The SGC had found out where Daniel's last phone call had come from and had called Jack. Daniel was somewhere in the woods north of the city. Jack couldn't imagine why. But now he understood why Daniel wasn't sure where he was. But what Daniel had said scared him. _"I'm sorry Jack… Tell her I'm sorry."_ What did that mean? He hoped it didn't mean what he was thinking. It truly scared him, a feeling he was not well acquainted with.

Sam and Teal'c hadn't asked any questions. Presumably they knew what he meant. Presumably that meant that Teal'c had figured it out. The had driven to the edge of the city and then taken flashlights into the woods. There was little hope of finding Daniel, but they had the world's best tracker on their side. There was some hope.

Daniel hobbled. It hurt. Bad. It almost released the torment he felt inside. Almost. His nightmares no longer remained in the night. He could see Her with his waking eyes. Tired, hurting eyes. Nothing could block the memories. They blinded him with his own guilt and feelings on inferiority and weakness. Tears came and went. Now he was almost too tired to weep. He couldn't think straight. Not that he had since this event anyways.

_I didn't deserve you, Sha're. I should never have come. None of this would have happened. I shouldn't have taken Catherine's offer. I should have lived on the streets until I could find a different job, a different town where no one knew me. This is all my fault! I should have been there to save you… God! All my fault! _ The wave a guilt he'd felt for years grew stronger and enveloped him. Nothing could be felt outside the terrible anguish. He was trapped in a world of pain and agony.

It had been an hour, or about that. Daniel had finally escaped the voices as he tried to avoid leaving a trace. They had been puzzled. He could tell. He managed to leave them behind. Far enough that he should be able to succeed in his dreaded deed before they caught up. _I should have done this last night before they had even had the time to find me! _ He thought irritably at himself. _Just one last thing to screw up, huh! Just couldn't help you're self! _He pulled the knife out of the back pocket he had stored it in under his shirt. Time to get it over with, to end all pain and suffering for himself and his friends…

Jack had straightened up on his old aching knees. He was too old for this. _God Daniel! Why are you doing this to me? Haven't we gone through enough already!_ He sighed. He was tired. Dead tired. He hadn't slept in… a long time…

"I believe Daniel Jackson when this way," Teal'c interrupted Jack's thoughts. Jack nodded. He knew that his team was just as tired as he was. Jack motioned for Teal'c to lead the way. He didn't honestly believe that he could keep the weariness from his voice.

Daniel felt cold. Everything was oozing from him. It hurt but no more than he deserved. Both his arms were slashed deeply. Another few minutes and he would be gone. He smiled sadly to himself. _It's over, Sha're. It's over. Please forgive me. I didn't want her. I thought it was you… You…God I miss you… I never really realized just how much you meant until you were gone… I hope you are all right… I know that you can't be inside that… That monster!_ Blackness came. Finally a senseless blackness. Nothingness. Peace…


	5. Chapter 5

Jack saw him. He ran on his weary legs, faster than he thought he could. Teal'c easily passed him, Sam running at his heals. There was a lot of blood. Everywhere, blood. Daniel was covered. _If there ever was a God now is the time to do something! _He could see Sam blanching. She was pale, ashen. Teal'c… well Teal'c just looked like Teal'c. His jaw was clenched, making the muscle near his temple move. "Daniel! What have you done!" _Not the best choice of words. _Od Danny! Listen to me! Don't leave us! Hand in there! We're here now! It'll be okay!" _Like Hell!_

"Of this I am not sure, O'Neill Things do not appear well." Jack spared a glance at the Jaffa.

"Aren't you being optimistic," Jack accused sarcastically.

"Jack," Jack noticed the informal call, "Daniel needs medical attention immediately! Call the SGC to send Janet and an ambulance. Now!" She ordered. "Sir." She added after a moment.

Jack grabbed his cell phone and called for a med team ASAP. Sam did her best to stop the bleeding. It wasn't working. _I've worked so hard to protect you from all the bad things out there only to loose you to yourself! What a screwed up world! _"We need you, Daniel! You sure as Hell aren't getting away from me that easy." His voice was raspy and rough. He knew it, and he knew from how Sam looked at him that she felt the same way. Her eyes were glistening as she held pressure on Daniels self-inflicted wounds. Jack could see the blood staining her pale hands. It was so dark against the whiteness that it mesmerized Jack. Sluggishly the blood oozed from the wound. Slowly it was spreading. Not slow enough.

Everything hurt. His eyes hurt. It was dark. Why was it dark. _My eyes are shut,_ he told himself. It seemed like so much work to open his eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to. He didn't know what he'd see. Then all the memories came rushing back. The overload made him moan.

"Doc!" A voice called. Jack.

A sense of fear came over him. What would Jack think? He knew what had happened. Daniel remembered the knife, the blood, the pain, the nothingness. Fear wrapped around him, suffocating him. He didn't want to be saved! He had been saving himself and everyone else he had failed. Now he had fallen to failure again. There was no hope. He hadn't succeeded in something since his wife had been taken. Everything he did was a mess. He'd failed.

"Daniel, can you hear me? Daniel?" Jack was there, by his side. He felt his hand. The hand made him cringe. Daniel wanted to turn away, but he hurt. So tired. Then the hand moved. A bright light shone in his eye as someone pried it open. "Welcome back, Daniel, you gave us quite a scare." That phrase. He'd heard it before. Now it really seemed true. He had scared them. He had scared himself. He was still scaring himself, because he was so terrible guilty. So hurt. So torn. Utterly destroyed. He didn't answer. He couldn't. His voice was gone. He couldn't speak. Jack's hand was back. It squeezed his. "Glad you're awake again. It is so much better talking to someone coherent versus someone who keeps interrupting your rambles with his own," Jack joked. _I was talking in my sleep? What did I say? It doesn't matter. It couldn't be anything they don't already know. They know everything. God what have I done? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?_

"Danny? You okay?" _No of course not!_

He nodded his head slightly. The hand moved away for a moment. "I have something of yours." Something was pushed into his hands. His glasses. Then they were gone. "I put them on the table here next to you… Do you want to open your eyes now?" the voice sounded hopeful. Daniel didn't. He didn't want to see. He didn't want to know he failed again. It hurt. So much. It wasn't fair. Why did Hathor want him? Did she know that he would give in, that he wasn't strong enough? A whimpered slipped through his clamped mouth.

Jack heard the whimper. He knew Daniel was catching up with himself. He knew it would be a long road recovery. _I should have protected you better. I should have been there. I should have stopped her from hurting you. If only I had been able to. If only I could fix you. If only… if only…_

Janet came back with some water. Jack knew she had heard the whimper too. She paused mid stride, then continued.

"Colonial O'Neill, you should go rest, eat… shower... I'll keep an eye on Daniel for a while." She smiled at him so sweetly, doing her best as a doctor to her patient to convince him he needed to listen to her. He sighed. It was true. He did. He was tired and hungry, and probably stinky. It had been a long night. He still had some of Daniel's blood on his hands. "I'll be back Daniel. Don't go anywhere." _Not that you can, one your leg is broken and two there will be one quick demanding doctor and a whole flock of nurses watching over you. _"Hang in there." He put as much compassion in those words as he ever had, which compared to Daniel's compassion seemed like nothing, but it was the best he could do.

Daniel still didn't reply.

Jack left his seat, letting Janet come over with her water. She tried to give it to him, but he just turned his head away from her.

Daniel's fear turned into anger. She was the one who told them! She was the one who promised, and lied! How could she betray him! They had been friends! Friends! He inwardly scoffed at the word. There were no friends in this new world he had created for himself. Nothing. He didn't need anything. They were betrayers. They had stopped him. They blocked him from his paradise. His freedom from all the pain and misery of the real world. He hated them all of them, but most of all Her, because without Her, there would be no Them. The real problem. Not Janet any more. Hathor, the dreaded self proclaimed 'goddess.' The one who had done this to him. The one who had forced it.

If only she had forced it. He thought weakly, his fear and hear ache setting in again. I took it eagerly. I wanted it. I betrayed my wife, not Hathor. Not Her. And Janet is just looking out for me. She is watching my back, trying to keep me from doing stupid things like jumping out of trees, from suicide. She doesn't deserve anger. She deserves praise. She saved another life. It just is one that doesn't want to live.


	6. Chapter 6

The infirmary brought Sam the fearful sounds of machines. She had never liked infirmaries because it meant someone was hurt. Exactly what had happened now.

She had come to check on Daniel. He wouldn't talk to her, so she just talked to him.

"Hey Daniel! How are you? Stupid question, I know." Sam sighed. She wasn't very good at this.

"Jack is with General Hammond, so I thought I'd come and talk to you a while. Check up on you, I guess," Sam fumbled through her words awkwardly. She hadn't been prepared for seeing Daniel like this, no matter what Jack had warned her of.

Daniel seemed pale and gaunt, as though he hadn't been eating. His eyes were open but unseeing, as though there was something on the plain wall that she couldn't see. Daniel had turned his head away from her, but it seemed to Sam that he was listening, even if it didn't seem like he was.

"Look Daniel, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known she was drugging you, you couldn't have prevented it," Sam said, running out of ideas, trying anything to bring him back to her.

That caught Daniel attention. He turned his head back at her and looked at her in astonishment. His mouth was open, eyes wide. "How can you say that?" he whispered.

"What do you mean?" Sam questioned, unsure of her friends meaning.

"Sam, I didn't do anything! I let her do it, I wanted it! I was unfaithful to Sha're! She doesn't deserve me!" his voice was rising, cracking with anguish as he sat up in his bed. "I did nothing to stop Her! I _helped _her repopulate goa'uld! If it weren't for you and Janet, and the other women on the base, Earth would be enslaved by goa'uld again, and just because I couldn't help it! I couldn't stop myself!" Tears were in his eyes, and he covered his face with his hands.

"Daniel! You were drugged out of your mind! You _couldn't_ stop yourself! She _controlled _you! This is Her fault! Not yours!"

"Just leave, Sam," Daniel whispered through his hands. Sam stood in shock. She made no move towards the door. "Leave! Please!" his voice cracked again.

Sam saw Janet moving in from behind Daniel with a needle. A sedative most likely.

Sam scuttled out the door. This wasn't good. He wasn't even listening to reason. _But at least he is talking! _Sam thought, though she wasn't happy at all. She didn't even make it a ten seconds from the door when Jack came along.

"Captain Carter." He nodded his head in greeting.

"Sir, how was the meeting? What did the general say?"

"All of SG-1 is to stand down until he can decide whether Daniel can recover himself, or we need to find a new…" he didn't continue, not wanting to think about it.

Sam grimaced. "How's Daniel?" Jack asked.

Her visage darkened even more, a heavy cloud of gloom coming over it. "Well, he talked. But he is completely wrapped in his blanket of guilt and denial that it was rape and not consensual. He threw me out." Sam shivered at the memory. She didn't think that Daniel would recover quickly.

Jack nodded as though he had expected it, but his face was white.

"I'll go see what I can do."

"Janet was going to sedate him," she said, but she nodded, understanding, and let the Colonel go.

Sam went back to her office. She had loads of work to do, but she knew she wouldn't get a bit of it done now.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack had gone to the infirmary to find Daniel sprawled on his bed. Even deep in sleep he had worry lines around his eyes and his expression looked pained. Jack rubbed his eyes. It wasn't fair that something like this should happen to a guy like Daniel who had never done anything wrong in his life. He had never hurt other people; he had always been there to help out even when it hurt him. How could he possible deserve this?

Jack saw the bandages wrapped up Daniels arms. They were fresh and as white as Daniel's skin.

Jack looked at the twisted face. _I should have known. With all my training, I should have suspected something had happened. I could have stopped this and I didn't. None of this should have happened. I should have been able to fight the drug and stop Hathor. I have been trained for that kind of stuff…well not _quite_ that kind of stuff, but similar. _Jack dropped his head back as though he was looking at some vengeful god above him.

He looked back at his friend, who had managed to have a limb at every corner of the bed how he laid. Jack stretched a hand out to pat Daniel's closest hand. "We'll fix this all up, Danny. I just hope you will be the same." _Not that he ever will be again. _

Daniel whimpered and his hand pulled away. All his limbs pulled in until he was huddled up into a little ball. His eyes opened, red rimmed and swollen. They glistened with unshed tears. He was looking right back at Jack.

"Hey there, buddy," Jack started softly. "How're you feeling?"

Daniel nodded his head almost undetectably as if it were a yes or no answered question. Jack understood him. "Feel like talking?"

Daniel shook his head slightly but with more decisiveness. Jack just nodded back. He'd expected that. "Heard you were talking to Sam." Jack laughed a little to himself. "I'm feeling a bit left out! Gosh I sat with you here after you came in for hours and you wont talk to me, but Carter is here for a few minutes and gets you to open up." Jack smiled to let his friend know he was joking. Daniel didn't laugh. He just watched Jack. _At least he didn't turn away. _Jack smiled at his thoughts. He was making progress.

Then he turned to a more serious note. "It wasn't your fault, what happened. You couldn't have prevented it. Just like I couldn't stop Hathor from making me into her Jaffa."

Daniel then tried to turn away. He clearly didn't want to hear this.

Jack grabbed his shoulder. He raised his eyebrows. "I don't think so. We need to talk. Or at least I need to talk and you need to listen. You are a much better listener than I, so suck it up."

Daniel stopped pushing against him and let Jack roll him back over, but he shivered under Jack's hand. "Cold?" Daniel shook his head. "Care to explain?" another head shake.

"Daniel, you can't blame yourself. This was not consensual sex. In fact, it was _non_-consensual sex. You know what that is, right?" Daniel gave Jack a dirty look then shook his head.

"You don't understand?"

Daniel's hand snaked out from under the covers and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was silent for so long that Jack thought he wasn't going to respond. "I understand Jack. But you're wrong." He opened his eyes again and looked Jack straight in the eye. "I didn't fight it. I chose it. I wanted it just as much as she did." Jack couldn't believe his ears. This was worse than Sam had let on. He was in self-denial of being raped. So Jack decided to be blunt. "Daniel, you were raped." Daniel looked at his friend in shock, but part of him seemed relieved. "I know you. You never would have chosen that for yourself. You love your wife and will do anything to find her. Which is partially why I'm here." He looked straight into Daniel's amazingly blue eyes. "Promise me that you will _never_ try to kill yourself again." Daniel looked away. "Daniel… Who is supposed to save your wife from the goa'uld? You are. You have a duty to her that you can't just let go of so easily. Promise me." Jack wasn't asking, he was demanding.

At the mentioning of Sha're, Daniel's eyes began to overflow. He put his hand over his face for a moment. Then pulled it away and looked into Jack's eyes, a sadness gleaming with in their endless pits. "For Sha're," he promised.


	8. Chapter 8

After the faithful day that Daniel had promised Jack he wouldn't hurt himself again, Jack managed to get Daniel allowed out of the infirmary. That was as long as someone was with him… just to make sure he kept to his word.

Daniel didn't plan on breaking it. Jack had been right. He needed to save his wife. He couldn't abandon her to her torment. _And that is my fault too…_ Daniel shook the gloomy feeling. He had work to catch up on.

The pages of books infront of him were blurry and he couldn't see the carvings in the stone Sg-4 had brought back. _I really need to get some sleep, but I know what comes with sleep…Nightmares. _ He rubbed his face and looked over at Jack. He was snoring quietly, sprawled out in a chair near the door. _Watching, yeah. _Daniel rolled his eyes at the thought.

Then another thought hit Daniel. He hadn't seen Teal'c since he'd left the base the day that… that day. Daniel was puzzled. Where was the Jaffa? He was hard to hide.

His thought were interrupted by his stomach growling. _Didn't realize how hungry I was. When did I last eat?_ The answer came after a moments thought. _When Janet made you before she'd let you leave the infirmary. _So yesterday. Daniel decided he would go to the cafeteria and pick up some food for himself. _And Jack. For 'watching' me._ He smiled at himself. He slipped out the door and made his way through the maze of the hallways towards to cafeteria.

Jack woke up with a start. Daniel wasn't there. _Daniel! You promised!_ He thought angrily at the pained archeologist. Jack rushed into the hall. There was a lone sergeant walking down the hall. "Hey! Have you seen Dr. Jackson?"

"No sir. Is it true what happened? Did he really try to kill himself?"

"What has happened is none of your business sergeant. And you can tell whom ever is spreading those vicious rumors about to kindly stop, or they'll have me to deal with." If looks could kill, that poor sergeant would have had daggers in his head.

"Yes, sir. I will tell him. I will watch out for Dr. Jackson and tell him you're looking for him." The man saluted and then continued on his way.

Jack jogged the other way. There were so many rooms in this building that it was close to impossible to find anyone if they _wanted _to hide. Jack jogged to Captain Carter's office to ask her assistance. As he went he hoped. _Please say he had to use the little boys room and is fine… please!_

"Carter? I need you're help. Keep it quiet, but Daniel is gone."

"Gone? How did he leave?"

Jack blushed a little. "I, er, I fell asleep. You have no idea how boring he is to watch work," he hurried to explain.

Sam nodded. "Yes sir. I will go and find Teal'c. You might check the infirmary, sir. If there was anywhere with lethal amounts of drugs…" she shuddered and didn't finish, but Jack caught her drift.

"Go, I'll give a visit to the Doc."

Jack once again continued jogging, attempting to be as least conspicuous as possible. He made it to the infirmary quickly. "Daniel? Doc? Hello?"

Janet heard his enter. "Colonial O'Neill? What are you doing here? Where is Dr. Jackson? Did Sam take your place?" The flood of questions drilled at him startled Jack.

"Actually I was hoping Daniel had come here." _Not really _hoping_ I guess, but it will do. _"I fell asleep and he slipped out. I need to find him fast, I don't want anything to happen and find that this time we are too late."

Janet was none too happy with him, but she agreed to help search.

Teal'c entered the cafeteria to partake in some of the bases fantastic blue jello. They had nothing such as this back on Chulak. He saw Daniel Jackson filling two trays with food and drink along the kitchen. Teal'c knew that Daniel Jackson was not allowed alone due to the previous events, so he was quite surprised when he saw him without one of his constant guardians, Sam and Jack.

"Daniel Jackson, you are here alone?"

Daniel turned around to face the Jaffe, quite surprised. "Oh, hello Teal'c." He looked away from the Jaffa, avoiding his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"In search of sustenance, as are you, but you have avoided my question," he responded to the archeologist.

"Yes, I am here alone. Jack fell asleep and I was hungry, so I thought I would get some food for us and bring it back. I hate to wake him and have a crabby colonial following me like a shadow all day," he said ruefully. "I probably shouldn't have left, but I don't think Jack will worry."

"And why is that, Daniel Jackson?"

Daniel shifted uncomfortably at the question. "Because I promised I wouldn't do… anything." He was for once out of words. Teal'c laughed inwardly at the thought of the talkative young man out of something to say. Outwardly though, Teal'c was as stoic as ever.

"He will certainly be frightened that you have gone back on your word if he awakes and finds you missing." Teal'c said.

"I guess." Daniel's shoes seemed to be his newest interest.

"Choose your nourishment and I will escort you back to your office, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel nodded and picked up a blue jello and put it on one of the trays and then turned to the Jaffa.

Teal'c led the way back to Daniel's office. Upon arrival, there was no one there.

Daniel put the trays on his desk. "Looks like you were right, Teal'c." Once again, Daniel was not looking at the Jaffa.

"This whole excursion, you have refrained from looking into my eyes, Daniel Jackson. Is there something disturbing you?" Teal'c's eyebrow went up.

"No… It's just," Daniel sighed. "I'm afraid, Teal'c. I don't know what I will see."

"You will see what you have always seen, Daniel Jackson, just as I see what I have always seen. You are a warrior of honor. Do not allow such honor to fade in times of pain."

Daniel dared a glance at the Jaffa. He looked just like he always had. There was no pity or anger in his expression, not that Daniel would have been able to tell if Teal'c had attempted to mask it. But Daniel didn't know that.

"Are you sure? You don't…" he sighed again, the air coming in noisily. "Feel any different towards me? After I tried to escape through the easy road?" He blinked back tears.

"I feel no differently towards you, Daniel Jackson. I would like to apologize to you." Teal'c looked towards the man, brown eyes to blue eyes.

"Why?" Daniel blurted, surprised at the warriors statement.

"I should have protected you. I knew Hathor's rumored powers and should have prepared to fight her. I should have stopped her from hurting you."

"Teal'c, you couldn't have stopped her with all the men on the base drugged! You couldn't have stopped every single man just to help me!" Daniel seemed desperate to deny Teal'c's need to apologize.

"I should have attempted to. I take full responsibility for the actions she took towards you. Please accept my sincerest apology, Daniel Jackson." Daniel couldn't believe it what he had just heard.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Teal'c. I should apologize to you for not fighting her. I almost destroyed the freedom we enjoy on Earth! She would have made the SGC her nest and Earth her kingdom! I know you are fighting for freedom for Jaffa, and I failed you and everyone else, for not fighting too. Please accept my apology," Daniel was looking down again.

"You could fight no more than any other male on this base.You were heavily under the influence of Hathor's drug. You were incapable to fighting her. You should not blame yourself, Daniel Jackson, for something you could not control."

Teal'c could see that Daniel was crying even though his face was turned down.

Then Jack came in, quietly. Teal'c could see that he had heard most of it.

Jack slipped around Teal'c and wrapped the young man into a hug. All of Daniel's muscles tensed up.

"Shhhh, shhh. It's okay. No one blames you, Daniel. Well no one but yourself," he added wryly, "and only you can change that."

"I will take my leave. If you require further assurance, seek me out," Teal'c said, then left the two men alone.


	9. Chapter 9

Daniel got out of the shower. He still had used burning hot water, but this time he didn't stay in the showers. Jack knew he was in here, but he was talking with General Hammond again. _Probably about me. I wonder what they plan to do._ Daniel's mind flickered to all the different possibilities. _At least they are starting to trust me again. Not that I would if I were them. _After the food incident earlier that week, Jack had been with Daniel all the time. He was awake when ever Daniel was, usually. Shower time and bathroom time were the _only _times that Daniel got to be alone. But he felt sort of lonely now without Jack. Jack had been his faithful shadow for the last week. _Daniel, you've been alone most of your life, you don't _need _people around you all the time now_. Daniel told himself that, but he couldn't help but feel good about having Jack there with him. It made him feel wanted.

The door to the locker room squeaking pulled Daniel from his thoughts. He was currently shaving. He had needed too. He hadn't gotten a shave in since She had been here. _Amazing. I can't get clean enough afterwards, but the shaving doesn't seem to count. _Once again the door squeaked. Whoever it had been and come and gone.

Daniel went over to his locker to get his clothes. He unwrapped his towel from around his waste and opened his locker. He pulled out his clothes from where they hung. _Can't wait to put on some fresh clothes. _Then Daniel noticed a piece of paper on the top shelf of his locker. He quickly threw on his pants and pulled out the paper. It was folded up small enough to fit through the locker vents.

In thick printed letters in read 'Daniel Jackson: Hathor's Bitch.' Daniel dropped the paper and pulled away as though it was poisoned. His face screwed up. He felt dirty all over again. With a quick thought, Daniel pulled his pants back off and got back in the shower, after he used his old towel to throw the paper in the trash. He scrubbed himself extra hard, until his skin felt raw and red. The hot water certainly didn't help.

He put his head in his hands. _God! It's like school all over again! The bullying!_ Bad memories came back to him of his seventh grade year on. Those had been the worst years of his life, other than the one his parents had died.

The door squeaked again. Daniel tensed up. He listened, ears perked up, all senses locked on the person who had entered. "Daniel? You in here?"

"Yeah, just finishing up," he mumbled.

"Fall asleep?" Jack laughed.

"Yeah," he lied. "I'm really tired."

"Well great. You can come sleep in my guest bed. Doc gave you the okay. Hammond agreed," Jack paused, "on one condition." Daniel waited for him to elaborate.

"Doc is sending for a Doctor McKenzie, some psychiatrist, to come and check you out. Just to make sure you'll be okay to return to duty."

"I don't need a Psychiatrist! I'm fine!"

"Better safe than sorry I guess. But on the plus side, you get to come home with me."

_Great, I'll keep him up all night with my nightmares. No different than the last week I guess._

"Daniel?"

"Yes?"

"Are you coming out anytime soon?"

Daniel blushed a little. He turned off the water and poked his head out. "Can you get me a towel?"

"You forgot a towel?"

"It would seem that way." _Even though it isn't._

Jack left the showers for a moment then returned with a white towel. "Here."

Daniel smiled his gratitude with a bit of a red face, then threw it around himself before leaving the safety of the curtained shower.

After all the time they'd spent together, Daniel still was much too modest. He didn't like the idea of his team seeing him naked. Jack seemed to know this, and made an excuse to use the restroom while Daniel dressed.

This left Daniel alone to think about the note someone had left him. It hadn't been there when he'd come in. He was sure of that. _I should tell Jack. _A feeling of anguish engulfed him. He couldn't tell Jack. What would Jack think? Anyways, he'd made it through middle and high school and college without Jack. Now he could just continue like he had. _You're ashamed aren't you. Because it's true. You know it's true. _

Jack looked over at his passenger. Daniel had been silent the whole ride. He had hardly moved. He just sat there staring out the front windshield at the streaming rain. His eyes were glazed over and unblinking.

"Daniel? Are you okay?" _Stupid question. He's never okay! Not since the day I met him, except maybe when he was with his wife. _A pang of guilt hit Jack. He felt that he should have been able to stop everything that had happened on Abydos.

Daniel shook out of his thought. He looked pale, paler that he had already. "Fine," he answered out of habit. _Fine. Sure you are._ "Want to talk about it?"

A brief look of panic hit Daniel's face, before it was hidden behind his mask. "About what?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Whatever is bothering you, Daniel."

"Nothing is bothering me, Jack."

"Daniel."

"Jack."

"Daniel." It seemed sterner this time. Jack winced inwardly. Maybe a bit too stern.

Daniel closed up. "No, Jack. There's nothing to talk about."

The rest of the ride to Jack's house was in awkward silence.

As the arrived, the rain started falling even harder, coming down like all the heavens were weeping for a lost hero.

Jack looked over at Daniel. He hadn't moved since they'd stopped. Jack sighed. "Are you ready to get out? Face the rain?"

Daniel's eyes moved, actually looking at the rain he'd been staring at. "Oh. Yes, I guess so."

Both men opened their doors and got into the rain. Jack slammed his door shut and ran for the door. Daniel shut his door slowly, and then turned his face to the clouds. The rain soaked him all over. His eyes were open, protected from the rain by his glasses, somewhat.

"Daniel! What the Hell are you doing? You'll be soaked! You_ are_ soaked!"

Daniel looked back at Jack. He wasn't quite smiling, but it was as close as he'd been in a long time.

"You're like a little kid some days. No one would believe that you are the smartest person I know." Jack grinned. "Lets find you some dry clothes."

Daniel curled up on the couch, wearing some of Jack's clothes. He was supposed to be watching the hockey Jack had put on, but Jack could see that he was fast asleep. His glasses were hanging precariously over the side of the couch off Daniel's face. Jack was currently on the phone with Dr. Fraiser, letting her know that Daniel would talk to Dr. McKenzie.

"Hey Doc, do you know if it's normal for victims like this to resort to childish behavior? Like standing in the rain? Or is that just something special about Daniel I didn't know until today?"

"I'm not sure, sir. There aren't a whole lot of places I can look up Goa'uld rape and find the side effects." She commented wryly. Then she went back to business. "I think it is a side of Daniel that is being exposed while the more… intelligent side is hiding from the world while he recovers. I wouldn't be surprised."

"All right. Thanks for your help. And the shrink will be there… Tuesday?"

"Yes, Colonial. Tuesday. That gives you all weekend and Monday to relax and help Daniel out as much as you can. Don't let him come to work; it will only have reminders of what happened. He needs a break. And don't let him go off alone for long periods of time. Make sure you always know where he is…"

Jack tuned her out. She was like an over worried mother. "Yes… Okay... All right..." He answered each thing she said with automatic phrases.

"Goodbye, Doc."

"'Night, Colonial."

Jack hung up the phone and went to turn the TV off. He grabbed a blanket that was on the back of his couch and laid it loosely over Daniel. He didn't want to wake Daniel up. He looked at Daniel's glasses. _Better just take those off. Would hate for them to fall and have Daniel step on them. _In reality it wasn't Daniel stepping on them he worried about.

He put the glasses on a table next to a picture of him and Sarah. Hopefully Daniel would be able to see them there, or Jack would hope to wake up first to save Daniel the trouble.

Daniel suddenly moved. He seemed to be fighting the covers Jack had laid on him. His face was all twisted, tears shining silver in the moonlight. Then with a plop, Daniel, covers, pillows and all were on the ground.

"Daniel?"

Daniel sat up among the mess, wiping his face.

He didn't answer.

"Daniel? Are you okay?"

He gasped for a second then gained his composer again. "Fine. Nightmare."

"About?" Jack knew, but he wanted Daniel to talk about it.

"Guess."

"Want to talk about it?"

He shook his head.

Since the Hathor event, Daniel had been more closed off than before. He had so much emotion that was dying to get out, Jack was seriously afraid Daniel would have a mental breakdown.

"We'll talk in the morning. You go back to sleep. You can sleep in a _real_ bed if you like. The guest bed room isn't that bad." Jack half joked, hoping to lighten the mood.

Daniel got up wrapping the blanket around himself.

"Follow me…"


	10. Chapter 10

Here you all go! This one is a longish one compared to the others. Hope it meets your liking! Thanks to those of you have reviewed. I like you best. Those of you have read but not reviewed: if you review I'll put you on my "favorite people" list too. Thanks for the support! Read on!­­

* * *

"_My beloved, come to me. You will rule by my side, we will be unstoppable." The silky two-toned voice of the goddess… _No Goa'uld_ Daniel thought forcefully… said. Daniel could feel her fingers. They were sliding down the side of his face. He shivered under their cold touch. They worked their way down, down, down. He stood completely still unable to move. He was shocked. _

Don't let this happen, I don't want it. Let me go! God! LET ME GO! _Daniel screamed in his head, but it didn't help. She couldn't hear him. His voice was gone. So were his pants. Then she was on him... The bed... it felt soft…She was kissing him, her hands everywhere. _

I don't want this… I don't want this… Sha're, forgive me! I can't stop her! Please someone help me… NO don't come! Don't see this… God! This isn't fair! What did I do to deserve this? You already took Sha're from me!

Daniel focused on anything except the woman seducing him. He couldn't bear to face this. It couldn't be happening. It had to be a dream. But it wasn't. It was all too real.

"Daniel!"

Help me! No! Don't come in! I don't want you to see this!

"Daniel!"

_No!_ Jack I can't let you see me like this! I'm sorry! It's not fair!

"Damnit, Daniel! Wake up! It's a nightmare!"

Daniel shook himself awake. He realized he was in Jack's spare room, not the VIP room at the SGC. Jack was next to him on the bed, shaking him.

Daniel shivered out of is touch.

Jack stopped, an awkward feeling coming over him. "I, uh, just heard you from my room and came to see if you were okay."

Daniel put his hand to his face. _You're cracking. Just like Nick. _Tears started to come again. _I can't get over this. I just can't. It's too big. _

"You don't have to go through this alone, you know. We are all here to help you," Jack said, as if he had heard Daniel's thoughts. "You want to talk about it?"

Daniel started to shake his head, out of habit, but he choked up. He couldn't. But he wanted to.

Jack saw the hesitation. "Come on. Tell me," he said gently.

Daniel finally broke down. "I was in the VIP room, with… Her. It was just replaying the whole event in my head! I couldn't stop her. I asked Sha're to forgive me. Jack, it isn't fair! What did I do to deserve this?"

Jack pulled him into a loose hug. "You didn't do anything. No one deserves that. Shhh, shhh." He soothed the younger man. "It's over now. You have all of the SGC to watch over you." Daniel noticeably tensed at those words.

"Daniel?" Jack said, pulling back from his hug to look at the archeologist.

Daniel didn't look at him.

"Daniel," he repeated again, sterner but just by a little bit this time.

"What?" he asked with attempted innocence through the tears.

"Never mind. We will talk in the morning. You go back to sleep and think about chocolate cake and lots of coffee, okay?" Apparently the innocence had worked. Daniel didn't want Jack to get involved with one incidence of bullying. It wasn't a big deal. Daniel nodded at Jack's dream suggestions. If only it was that easy. Jack got up to leave. "If you need anything, just want to talk, what ever, wake me up. I don't care what time it is, I'll listen." Daniel pulled himself back under the covers of the bed, not answering to Jack's request/plea.

Jack watched Daniel shrink back under the sheets. He was pulling away again. He had given Jack a little opening, spilled a little bit out, then shut up again. Jack sighed. _This is not easy. In fact, it's damn frustrating!_ No matter how he tried, Daniel wasn't opening up. _I need to hit something right now. Hard. A good pummel. If only Hathor was here now, I would certainly feel a whole Hell of a lot better. _Jack thought, smiling grimly at the thought of beating the fake goddess up. _Why Daniel? His naïve innocence will never come back now. _

Jack laid back in his bed, listening to his friend toss and turn in the room next door. He knew Daniel would wake up again in the night from the same nightmares. He hadn't slept a full night through since Jack had been watching him. But then, neither had Jack.

Jack got up with the sun the following morning. He filled the coffee pot with water and ground coffee beans and fired up the stove. He was going to make eggs and toast. Daniel crept out of bed, looking oddly like an owl with his eyes wide and blinking. "Morning, camper! Thought I'd make us some eggs and toast. Coffee is in the pot," he jabbed his thumb towards the machine.

Daniel just shuffled over to the pot grabbed a mug from a cupboard to fill up. "So, how do you like you're eggs, Danny?"

Daniel shook his head.

"Sorry. You have to eat. Doc's orders. I'll make you some scrambled eggs." In reality, those were the only eggs that Jack could make near perfect. Sunnyside up, poached, fried, he couldn't do so well. Not that Daniel needed to know that. Daniel sat down in a chair at the table, head in hands. He looked tired.

Jack felt a pang of worry inside him. He didn't like seeing his friend so wrung out.

He turned back to his duty to hide his worried expression.

The eggs were done quickly enough, and Jack laid them in front of Daniel. "Eat up."Daniel pulled his hands from his face. He looked at the eggs with distaste. "Aw, come on, they're not that bad."

Daniel played with them with his work for a bit before finally putting a piece in his mouth.

Jack sighed. He felt like a mother right now. "You have to clear at least half your plate before I let you leave the table," he said in his best attempt at a mother hen voice.

Daniel gave him a weak smile and took another bite.

Jack just watched Daniel. He'd eaten before Daniel had even gotten up.

"So, about last night…" Jack started.

Daniel's smile faded. Pain seemed to come back to the tired eyes at the memory.

"Hey! Don't you close up on me now." Jack warned.

Daniel swallowed his bite. He sighed, the air rushed out noisily, as though his throat was tight. He didn't seem to know where to start, so Jack helped him. "Why did you run off into the woods that one night." He didn't need to specify which night. They both knew.

"I don't know. I had wandered around… just thinking for a little while. I ended up back at my house and saw you pull up. I knew I couldn't stay or you'd see me, so I ran. I didn't think, I just ran. I ended up in the woods. I remember falling. I twisted my knee." He looked down at his leg as if to see if it was still there. "Janet must have taken care of it." He paused, lost in thought it seemed. His eyes looked wet. Then he looked at Jack, the little bit of color on his face draining. "Her picture! Jack, where's her picture?" He put his hands over his face. Jack knew he was crying. It had become like a sixth sense for Jack now. He didn't need to know who _she_ was. He could guess. There was only one woman that Daniel would carry a picture of around. _Sha're. _

"I'm sure it will turn up," Jack said soothingly.

"No! You don't understand," Daniel said through his hands. "I took the picture _with _me. I dropped it when I fell. I got my phone out to try and _find_ her. I found her then. That's when I started to get scared and called you. I'm such a coward! I can't even kill myself without becoming afraid." Daniel broke down, dissolving completely into tears.

"Then isn't her picture in your clothes?" Jack ignored the self-hate and tried to help Daniel with the problem he could possible solve right then and there.

"I don't know! I don't know! I don't know where she is. I haven't seen her beautiful face since I… I…" he didn't finish. Jack could guess. Since he tried to kill himself. Jack still had the constant reminder of the bandages on Daniel's arms. _Note to self: ask Doc when those should be taken off. Certainly Daniel doesn't need them anymore. _The bandages bothered him. They reminded him of how close Daniel had come to succeeding. And how close Jack had come to loosing him.

"Well, what are we waiting for? I will call Carter and Teal'c to see if either of them have seen your picture of Sha're. If they haven't, then we go searching in the woods."

Sha're might just be able to help Daniel heal a little. If we can't find it, I'll get Sam to make another copy of it. She must still have the original photo she enlarged to get that final image.

After fifteen minutes, Jack had called the SGC to find that the good doctor had it with some of Daniel's clothes. "I hadn't thought about it since his clothes were ruined. The picture took a little damage in the incident," Janet told Jack. Jack nodded, then realized she couldn't see him. "Will you ask Sam to find the picture and print off a new one?"

"Sure. Anything else? How's Daniel?"

"Daniel is starting to open up. He's still very closed off. I still don't know. Hammond wants me to have a decision by the end of the week on whether Daniel will be able to come back or not. There are times where I think he is going to be all right, and then he breaks down again. Is there anything you can give him to help him sleep through the night? He's having reoccurring nightmares."

"Yeah, I can prescribe a light sedative. It should help him get through the night. Stop by the infirmary when you come so I can give Daniel a check up." Janet sounded worried.

"What aren't you telling me?" Jack asked, quiet to avoid getting Daniel's attention, but firm.

Janet sounded surprised. "What do you mean?"

"You sound worried." Jack felt foolish saying that.

"I… I just can't help but feel it was partially my fault. If I hadn't let Daniel go home, none of this would have happened." Janet's voice seemed quieter.

"Seems like you're not the only one playing the blame game. Don't beat yourself up, Doc. There's only one person to blame for all this, and she would be lucky to never come across us again." Jack could swear Janet was smiling at that moment.

"Thanks, colonel. Remember, no work allowed, just a quick stop."

"Yes ma'am." Jack grinned.

He hung up the phone. He could understand why Dr. Fraiser blamed herself, just like Jack blamed himself. Spending time blaming yourself pulls you away from spending time helping Daniel get better, a little voice reminded Jack deep inside his head.

Jack walked towards the door. He knew Daniel was already outside waiting for him. Jack went outside to see the younger man sitting inside the car, in the passenger seat, staring absently out the window. Jack walked quickly, not jogging because his knees hurt in the cool weather the rain brought on, to the car.

Daniel looked a little anxious, but otherwise vacant. Jack hopped in the truck and started her up. She revved to life and soon they were on their way to the SGC.

Sam waited patiently for Jack and Daniel to arrive. She had decided the infirmary was the best place to wait because she knew that the two would come here. Plus Janet was here and Sam had become good friends with the petite doctor.

Sam glanced down at the picture. It was a beautiful picture. What a beautiful woman. Daniel was really lucky to get her. Or I guess she was really lucky to get someone like Daniel.

At that moment the two men walked in. Jack led, Daniel followed.

Daniel looked better than the last time she'd seen him. He had more color in his face and he didn't look quite as hollow. His eyes still had an otherworldly look to them.

She looked back at the photo then stepped forward to hand it to Daniel. Daniel's eyes landed on it, and seemed to be pulled back to earth. He gave her a weak smile. It was all the thanks Sam needed.

Janet came up then and pulled Daniel away. Daniel glanced back at Jack, as though wanting the other man to wait there for him.

Jack saw the look and waited. Sam raised an eyebrow. Jack shrugged his shoulders. "How's things at the base?" Jack asked politely.

"Fine," Sam said, "We have some knew artifacts here we've been working on. Daniel would probably like to take a look…" Jack cut her off.

"We're not staying."

"I can look after Daniel a while so he can catch up on work," Sam offered.

"No, Doc's orders. No work." Jack smiled, rocking back on his heels. He loved it when Carter got that expression on her face.

"Oh." She said after a moment.

"Tell you what. You come over… say sixish tonight, and bring Teal'c. Pick up some movies. We'll make up for that movie night last week that didn't quite work out. I'll provide beer and pizza."

Sam smiled. "I'd like that."

Janet came back with Daniel. "He's doing fine. We took off the bandages, seeing that he's healing all right."

Sam saw the picture clutched in Daniel's hands. Jack saw the angry scars running up Daniels lower arms. Maybe bandages were better.


	11. Chapter 11

"For Christ's sake! Can I come into this building for one moment with out someone wanting to talk to me?" Jack yelled at the unlucky messenger.

"General Hammond said it was urgent, sir," the man said, eyes hinting at his fear.

Jack ran a hand through his graying hair. "Daniel, hang out with Sam for a while. I'll go see what Hammond wants _now_."

Daniel nodded, watching every movement Jack made. Then he turned and walked towards Sam's lab. Sam had left a mere minute ago when this messenger of General Hammond's had shown up.

Jack turned back to the little man. "Lead the way," he gestured with his hands to the direction the man had come from. He nodded shortly and took off in a quick scuttle.

Soon Jack was at Hammond's door. "Knock, knock. Can I come in?" Jack said as he opened the door.

"Have a seat, Colonel." Jack shook his head to decline the suggestion, but upon looking at the General's face, he changed his mind and took the seat.

"The President thinks that Dr. Jackson has been compromised. He will be taken off your team and a new member assigned."

"What?" Jack felt his anger rising. _Damn Irish temper!_

"We can't allow the risk that Dr. Jackson's views have been severely compromised due to the events that occurred over the last two weeks."

"Can't Dr. McKenzie decide if Daniel's fit to come back?"

Hammond sighed. "Its not up to me whether Dr. Jackson gets to come back. Dr. McKenzie will turn in his report on him. Then the President decides if he gets to stay."

Hammond paused for a while, making Jack think he might be done, but he sensed this wasn't it.

"Off the record. You know how the military isn't to excited to have a civilian on the flagship team." It was a statement, not a question. Jack could see where this was going. "They are pressuring the President to replace Dr. Jackson with military personnel."

Jack had been afraid of that deep down, but it was the first time he'd openly recognized the fear as being there. "What can I do, General?"

"Not a whole Hell of a lot."

"Certainly you can put your own pressure on the President, let him know you think that Daniel is able to return to duty."

"When I am sure he is, I will put as much pressure on as I can, but I assure you, it is nothing like the pressure the President gets from the rest of the military. Dismissed."

Jack wanted to protest, but he knew it wouldn't do anything. Now he had only one question to ask himself. To tell Daniel or not to tell Daniel. Jack rubbed his eyes. This would be all too hard to break to Daniel now. After Daniel had promised not to hurt himself on the belief he needed to be searching for his wife. _Which he can't do if he can't go off world._ _Which would no longer keep him from… doing anything. Damn you all! _He shook a mental fist at all those opposing him.

Sam had started working on an artifact SG-7 had brought back when Daniel came in. He had come in so silently, that she jumped when she saw him move in the corner of her eye. Daniel tensed at her surprise. "Make some noise! You almost scared me to death!" she smiled. Daniel relaxed a little, giving her a sad half smile. "Aren't you going home with Colonel O'Neill?" she asked. He nodded his head. _Still awfully quiet. Hopefully the conversation this time will be better than last time. But not quite so one sided. I don't know what to say as it is, and with me being the only one talking, it will only get more awkward. _"So where is he?"

"Hammond," he answered.

Sam's brows scrunched together. "Huh. Wonder what Hammond wants with Jack."

Daniel shrugged his shoulders. Sam figured he'd guessed it had to do with him. _And he's probably right. I can't imagine what else General Hammond would want to talk about with Jack. _

Sam turned back to her project. Daniel looked at it curiously. "SG-7 thought it was an alternative power source for a shield this village used on P3X-741. Unfortunately it seems to be all burned out. I can't find a power switch or button anywhere on here. I have no idea how to turn it on. According to the villagers, this hasn't been in use for a millennia." Sam sighed. She really didn't know where to go with this artifact. Daniel didn't really help. He just looked at it.

The artifact was fourteen sided and a deep blue. There were twelve long rectangular sides that created the almost cylindrical shape to the device, and two 12-gon sides that met with the end of each rectangular piece making the end. On one of the ends, there was a long rod that stuck out and hinged in the middle. Sam couldn't make heads or tails of why it was there. At this point in time, it was a nuisance for when ever she got up it would stab her stomach. It wasn't sharp, just annoying. Daniel picked the device up and laid it so the rod was pointed to the ceiling. Being that the device was fairly large, the rod was now a good distance above their heads. Daniel looked at Sam as if to be reassured that she didn't mind his touching her work. She frowned. "I never thought about it sitting like that. Put it on the floor, so we can reach the rod."

Daniel acquiesced. Soon the device was sitting on the floor with a scientist and an archeologist sitting around it. Daniel leaned close to the device and ran his finger over it. His brows furrowed.

"Do you see something?"

He nodded. Suddenly he looked up and around himself. "Paper?" he asked.

Sam quickly got up from where she was sitting and grabbed a piece from her printer and a pencil from a mug of writing utensils on her desk. "Here," she offered the two objects over to the man on the floor. Sam leaned really close to the device. "There are tiny symbols on here. It that what you're looking at?" she asked.

Daniel didn't even hear her. He was busy scribbling down symbols and words. "It's directions!" he said, after half an hour of silent translating. He handed his sheet over to Sam. "They seem awfully simple for how many symbols there are." Sam said, starting to doubt Daniel's work.

Daniel closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Half the script is about the device and it's creators' purpose for it. The other half is a long winded explanation of how to use it and how to hook it up to the device that creates the shield that the village had." He let do of his nose and opened his eyes again.

Sam was surprised. She hadn't expected him to answer her. It was the most words she'd heard Daniel say in a while that weren't blaming himself or denial. "Oh… So shall we try it?" She didn't wait for an answer. She stood and grasped the rod. She bent it in the middle at its hinge and wound it around and around. Daniel watched in fascination as the device started to light up and glow softly. It emitted a low hum and a bluish glow.

"Daniel! We made it work! Thanks!" she shot him a smile.

Then Jack came in. "Whoa there! Looks like you two have been busy. What did I tell you Daniel?" he looked at the young man. "No work."

Daniel shrugged, with his sad half-smile again. He picked himself off the floor and handed the pencil back to Sam.

Sam was absolutely glowing. The device might have had something to do with that. "Thanks again, Daniel. I couldn't have done it with out you."

She noticed how Jack seemed to nod to that.

"You're an important asset to this base, Daniel. We would do anything to keep from loosing you." Jack said, as if an oath that neither of the younger people in the room noticed.


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks again to those of you who have reviewed. Remember, the more reviews, the longer I keep going with this! Spare me a moment and click that lovely little button at the bottom! Hope this gives you all what you're looking for!

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Before they could leave, Daniel insisted that he must stop by his office to grab some old books to work on at Jacks and some new ones he was working on reading. So now Jack and Daniel were in Daniel's office, Jack standing with ever shortening patience and Daniel picking up stacks of books.

Daniel frowned softly. "I can't find one of my books. It must be in my locker."

"It can stay there." Jack grumbled.

"No, I need it to help me understand this culture…"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Tell you what. You get your dusty old book, I'll get your meds from Fraiser."

Daniel nodded his head in agreement, and waited for Jack to leave before he went his way.

He had to admit, he was nervous. Last time he had gone to his locker had been a bad experience. _It's a locker! For goods sake! It doesn't _do _anything. _Daniel clenched his hands together in an uncanny 'Teal'c' way. He tried to find his growing fear by squeezing his hands together, letting his nails dig into his palms.

He paused at the door. _I don't really need that book do I?_ He shivered at the thought of gong in, but he knew there was nothing to fear. It was a room. There were probably other people inside.

Scary.

Daniel forced his hands to unclench and pushed the door open. _Okay, so maybe no people. _The locker room was as empty as it had been when he'd showered in here just the other day. It was amazing how eerily quiet it was. For how busy the rest of the base was, this room had no energy, no life. Daniel pushed it from his mind and went to his locker. _Last chance,_ the fear in his gut told him. He opened it without a problem.

Sheets of paper tumbled out at him. Daniel didn't need to read them. He knew more or less what they said. He gasped as they fell on him. They seemed to burn. He scrambled back, falling over the bench that lined the middle of the locker area. He fell back on to the cold cement floor. "Ah! Shit!" he slipped as he recovered himself. _That hurt! _He yelped in his head. _I warned you, _the fear whispered. Daniel pulled himself up on shaky hands. The papers littered the floor. There seemed to be a sea of them, though in reality there couldn't be more than twenty. They seemed all a little different. Some had pictures of the hieroglyphics representing Hathor, or the drawing the Ancient Egyptians had made of her.

But one stood out. It was a picture of Daniel standing next to Hathor, completely entranced. Daniel started convulsing. He felt sick. Daniel rushed to the sick, where he promptly rid his stomach of the eggs Jack had so kindly made him eat.

Then he thought of Jack. Jack would be here any moment. Daniel cringed. He quickly traveled from the sink to the locker, back to the sink to unload some more of his stomach, then back to the masses of paper. He tried to pick them up, but he couldn't. So, he grabbed a towel and used it to carry the papers to the trash as he had done the time before. Daniel washed his face and mouth out in the sink. He felt light headed and queasy. A headache was coming on.

"Daniel?" Jack's voice called for him.

Daniel quickly wiped off his face and came over to the lockers again. "Ah. There you are." Jack rocked on his heels. "Got your book?"

Daniel looked at him blank. Then it hit him. He needed his book. "Ah, yes." Daniel went to his locker and grabbed it off the bottom and shut the locker.

"Great. Let's go before someone _else _asks me to do something."

Jack had been thinking of what he could do with Daniel until 6 when the rest of SG-1 was to show up at his house. Daniel had fallen asleep in the car as Jack drove the thirty minutes to his house from the base. _Maybe we should just have a low-key afternoon. Daniel doesn't look so hot. He smells sickish. _Jack straightened in his seat. He glanced back at Daniel. _I hope he isn't coming down with something, _he thought with alarm. _Certainly he would have told you if he didn't feel well. _Jack thought, trying to give Daniel _some _credit. Then he shook it off. _When has Daniel ever told _anyone_ how he's feeling? For as good of a listener he makes, he sucks at talking._ Jack tried to think of anytime where Daniel had ever answered the question 'How are you' or similar forms of it with anything other than 'I'm fine.' He couldn't think of any.

For God's sake! This is the last thing he needs — I need! — after all this. Daniel was just starting to get better! He's starting to talk again. Jack started to fret.

Soon they were in Jack's driveway. Jack quickly opened his door and ran over to Daniel's side to attempt to carry him in. Daniel woke up though, completely ruining Jack's moment of selflessness. He saw Jack open his door with a rush. "What the..?" he asked, still pulling his head from the depths of sleep.

"Oh…ah… I was just… going… yeah." Jack jabbed his thumbs towards the door, looking everywhere but the face of his friend. Daniel looked at him oddly.

"You were going to carry me?" Daniel made a confused face, as if trying to work out a hard math problem in his head. He rubbed his temple softly as though it made his head hurt.

Jack decided to change the subject seeing his friend seemingly fine. "How are you feeling?" he asked in his best imitation of a psychiatrist. Daniel glanced up at Jack, then got out of the car and walked into the house.

"No, seriously, Daniel. You have to be ready for that question. Do you have an answer? I bet that the shrink will ask you that very question on Tuesday. Daniel?" Jack followed Daniel into the house. Daniel was decidedly ignoring him.

Jack jogged up the steps as Daniel let the door shut behind him. Jack yanked the door open, "Seriously, Daniel. You better have an answer!" he saw Daniel shaking. "Daniel?" he asked, hoping he was all right. Daniel collapsed into a chair. His hands were still shaking as he pulled his head to them.

"Daniel, what's wrong? Come on, talk to me!" Jack begged his friend. Something must have triggered a memory, a flash back, some more guilt, something!

Daniel had dissolved in to tears. Jack came to Daniel's side, helpless to help the grieving man.

After a few moments, Jack decided to get Daniel's books and picture from the car. There wasn't anything he could do for Daniel but give him some time.

By the time Jack had returned, it seemed that Daniel had regained his bearings. "Daniel, what's going on?" Jack asked softly.

"Nothing." Daniel lied, the attempt weak at best.

"Nothing my ass. Something has my best friend all messed up and I want to know what it is."

Daniel looked at Jack with slight surprise. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I want to know!"

"No, not that. That… I'm your best friend?" Daniel asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Of course I mean it! Why would I say it if I didn't mean it?"

"I don't know. I guess I always thought you and Teal'c…"

"Daniel… I've known you longer. You kept me from killing myself not too long ago. You and I aren't that different. Except that you are the victim and I wasn't. Daniel, please talk to me." Jack looked into Daniel's intense blue eyes, pleading.

Daniel looked away, his face crumbling. "There were… things… in my locker…" Tears started falling. Jack looked at Daniel confused. "Things… 'Fraid you'll have to be more specific than that."

"God, Jack! They were horrible. Everybody hates me! They think… that… that…" he didn't finish as he choked on a lump in his throat.

"Daniel! How could you think that? What am I? Nobody? I don't hate you! Sam doesn't hate you! Teal'c doesn't hate you! Hell, no one at the SGC could possibly hate you!"

More tears came. "They do! I know you don't hate me… or Sam or Teal'c… But everyone else. They look at me like… like… they… they… and in the locker…" Daniel didn't finish again.

"I guess I'm supposed to know there is something in your locker?" Jack couldn't quite grasp what he was talking about.

"Pictures… sheets… With me and…. And… Her…" he whispered her name with a certain amount of hopeless hate. "Jack," he looked at the older man imploringly. "They all know! All of them!" He was shaking again. Shit. Jack cursed mentally. Someone had been leaving little… presents for Daniel.


	13. Chapter 13

The reviews were lovely, thanks! Here you all go, not the most exciting chapter, but longer. It's all building up. I promise to get another chapter out soon! Thanks again for the reviews, more are always appreciated!

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Sam was pulled from her work by the phone ringing. _Shut up._ She mentally commanded it. It didn't work. _It never works. _Sam sighed and reached for the phone. "Carter."

"Carter, I have a job for you and Teal'c." Jack explained the situation with the notes someone had been leaving Daniel.

"God, sir! I can't believe someone would do that! What do you want me to do?"

"Find out who did it. Don't care what you do, just do it," he paused for a moment. "You might want to talk to General Hammond about it. He should probably know." Sam nodded her head, then responded in the affirmative.

"Is Daniel okay, sir?"

No sound came from the other end, making Sam think he had left, when the other end came back to life. "He's, well, he's been better. He's sleeping right now. Took some of Doc's meds."

"Okay. Do you still want us to come over tonight, or should we postpone?"

"I think we should keep this date." Jack must have realized how awkward that sounded. "I mean, Daniel needs something else to think about for a while. You know what I mean?" he rushed out. Sam had to laugh at her CO's obvious discomfort. "Yes, sir. Teal'c and I will work on the situation and we'll see you at six." Sam hung the phone up. How was she supposed to do this? Trap someone who was bullying her friend? Giving him grief over something he couldn't control. _First stop, the General's office. _Sam ran a hand through her hair. This was not going to be fun.

Daniel tossed and turned. Even with the drugs, he didn't seem to sleep well. Jack watched his friend. It was so hard to see someone else suffer. It was so much easier to suffer yourself. _Its amazing, _Jack thought. _It almost hurts more for me to see him hurt like this, than when I was like that. But I guess I don't remember most of the time after Charlie died. I was too drunk. Maybe I should buy some more beer. Daniel could use a couple. _Jack got up at the idea. There was nothing for him to do hear but listen to his friend toss restlessly. He might as well get food and drink for the 'Team Bonding Night' they all had ahead of them.

Jack left Daniel to his 'sleeping' and left for the store.

Daniel woke to an empty house. He had been dreaming of the notes someone had been leaving him. He had opened his locker and paper had flooded out. Every one said something different. They were pouring on to him. They surrounded him and he tried to pull away but he couldn't. They engulfed him. He couldn't stay above them. He was stuck in a sea of papers, all showing him how much everyone hated him, how they all knew and joked about him behind his back. He couldn't breathe! They were choking him, cutting him off from the air. Finally he had woken.

Daniel gasped for air. It came to him as a relief. It felt cool in his burning lungs.

Daniel felt ashamed. _Why did I break down and tell Jack? Why can't I be stronger? _Tears came again, but this time there was no one to stop them. Daniel pictured the papers again, torturing himself. _You know they're true. Everyone does, even if Jack tries to lie to you. _Daniel hurt to think that Jack would lie to him. Jack had watched over him like no one else had in all his memories. _He may watch over you, but he'll never let you back through the 'gate. They won't trust you now. They know you'll turn on them for Her the first chance you get! _A cruel voice said in his head. _Will not! _Daniel denied, but he couldn't fight the other voice. It was too strong. And, he believed it. It made him sick.

They know. That's why someone is leaving you notes! They're trying to tell you! You know the only reason Dr. McKenzie is coming is to put you away! They know you're nuts, you've cracked!

Daniel tried to pull away from the voice, but he couldn't. _I am not _crazyDaniel yelled at it.

_Didn't you tell yourself you where crazy? If you aren't crazy, then why are you listening to me?_

Daniel felt his stomach heave. He rushed on shaky legs to the bathroom as his body attempted to throw up anything it could. Granted there wasn't anything except stomach acid in his stomach to be rid of as it was.

After a few minutes, Daniel left the restroom and sat on the coach. He had to keep away from the voice. He couldn't listen to it. Jack was there to protect him, so he didn't need the voice ruining everything for him. _Where is Jack? _Daniel looked around. Jack didn't seem to be anywhere. "Jack?" he called out quietly. No answer. Daniel went to see if Jack was sleeping. No one there. _He's left you. Just like everyone else. No one wants to deal with a psycho man who's having a break down! _

"No! No! Jack wouldn't leave me!"

_Then where is he?_

The voice left him with that final thought.

Jack returned home in a bad mood. The store had taken forever to get through. _Forgot how busy it gets on a Saturday afternoon. _The beer had cost him a bit more than he was prepared for. Life was not all that peachy.

He walked into his house with a storm cloud over his head. The lights were all off, and there was a figure curled up on the floor. Jack had one thought in his head. _Shit. _"Daniel?" he asked with alarm. Daniel didn't move.

He dropped the beer and fell to the floor beside the prone figureDaniel was breathing. Nothing appeared wrong with him. No blood. Breathing seemed normal enough. Jack shook him.

Daniel sat up, nearly hitting Jack ._Just sleeping I guess. I shouldn't have left. _

Daniel gasped out for a moment and then lied back down.

"Daniel? Are you alright?"

Daniel nodded. Tears were in his eyes and Jack could see traces of tears down his cheeks even in the dim light. Jack didn't believe him. He still feared the worse. Daniel closed his eyes and breathed heavily. Jack gave him a moment.

"It's… I… I didn't think… You were coming back…"

Jack shrugged off the idea. "What happened to no man left behind? Believe it or not, you are included in that."

Daniel nodded his head, but looked away guiltily. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you had," he said in an emotionless voice.

"Why would I leave you?" Jack asked, puzzled and a little hurt that his friend would think he would.

Daniel looked back at Jack. "Because I'm a lost case. Nuts. Suicidal." His voice quieted on the latter.

"Can't loose what's right in front of you. And you're not nuts! Even if you were, I wouldn't leave you alone at my house! And the last… well, your better now. Right?" Jack asked, just to make sure.

Daniel looked away. "I don't know. There are times, where it would seem so easy to get rid of all my troubles."

"Don't you dare think like that!" Jack growled. The last thing he wanted to deal with was his friend killing himself. He knew what it was like, he'd been there. He could help Daniel through this.

"You are not alone. I will help you, but you have to _talk_ to me, Daniel. I can't just guess. I know its hard to open up to someone like this, I've been there." Daniel looked back at Jack. "Help me, Jack. I have to find Sha're."

Jack's stomach dropped. "I know. We" _I _"will." He promised.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Jack welcomed the two other members of his team inside. Teal'c and Sam looked around the ranch. "Beer's in the fridge, pizza's on the way, movies are where ever you put them." Jack motioned to the aforesaid items as he mentioned them.

"And Daniel?" Sam asked, quietly.

Jack jerked his head to the spare bedroom. "He'll be out in a bit. Just a bit tired. So how is work?" Jack asked, attempting to change the subject. He would talk to Sam alone on the topic of Daniel at another time. Having Daniel in hearing distance was not wise.

Sam took the cue. "Works fine. The device Daniel helped me turn on is a power source, though heavily depleted. It apparently had taken damage and had been leaking in the ruin it was found. But it could help us find much more. The technology is much more advanced than the small villages found about the planet. I think that someone else brought it there which means there might be another one somewhere else. I would love for Daniel to tell me about the creators of the device… when he is up to it of course." Sam added with a look from her CO.

"yes… When he has time…" Jack turned his back on them. "So what did you bring? No chick flicks I hope."

"What is a 'chick flick' referring to?" Teal'c asked is his stoic manner.

"No sir. You should know by now I don't go for that kind of stuff."

"Please, call me Jack. Off duty, remember?"

"Fine, s… Jack… Call me Sam then."

Jack found the movies then. "Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Attack from Mars. Let me guess, Teal'c picked these ones." Jack looked up at the two standing still in his front hallway.

Teal'c looked up with a smile, or as much of a smile as he ever gives. Sam looked at Jack with surprise. "Well, yes. How did you know?"

"Some things never change." Jack looked at the movies. They were the same ones Teal'c picked out every time Jack had taken him to the movie rental store.

"Indiana Jones, James Bond. These one yours Carter?"

"Sam, sir. Yes."

"Jack, Sam. Like adventure's then, eh?"

"A little, Jack."

"Why do you repeat your name continuously?"

Sam looked up to explain to Teal'c, but Jack spoke first. "Oh, nothing, Teal'c. 'Tis nothing."

"Which do you want to watch first… Jack."

"What ever you choose. And you should choose. Don't let Teal'c influence your decision." Jack glanced back at the Jaffa.

Teal'c laid an even stare back at Jack. "I apologize for my interest in the small Hobbits journey."

"Yeah, yeah," Jack brushed it off. "It doesn't change. No matter how many times you watch it, the ending is always the same," he muttered.

A door creaked at that moment.

"Daniel!" Sam cried out, happy to see her friend somewhat alive looking. She ran to give him a hug.

Daniel slipped out of her reach, but upon seeing her hurt expression, he stopped. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm just not ready…"

"You don't have to apologize," she said, eyes dropped. "I understand."

Jack tried to lighten the tense mood. "Okay campers. If you won't choose a movie, I will. Temple of Doom it is." Jack popped the movie out and thrust it in to the DVD player. "Seats everyone. Keep your hands inside the ride at all times."


	14. Chapter 14

Jack pulled Sam outside. "What have you done for the whole locker thing?" Jack asked.

Daniel had fallen asleep again and Teal'c was watching him… sort of.

"I talked to General Hammond. We're keeping this low key. No one knows except you, me, Teal'c and the General. I have some ideas, but nothing for sure."

Jack motioned for her to continue. "Well. We could put a camera in the locker, but that only works if they open it. We could put a small electrical current through the locker so if anyone touches it they'll get shocked, but that would be anyone, not just our…" Sam seemed to draw blank for the word she was thinking of.

"Bad guy?" Jack supplied.

"Sure. We could put a chemical on the locker that could glow in ultraviolet light but it could, once again, be on anyone who is doing this. I am running out of ideas."

Jack stared over the side of his deck. "What about a camera else where?"

"Can't do that. It's against the law. You're not allowed to have cameras in bathrooms, dressing rooms, or locker rooms."

"We're talking about a friends life right now! I'll do it, I don't care!"

"Is it that critical, is Daniel still hanging on the edge there?"

Jack nodded sadly. He couldn't take much more of this.

"We could do that, s… Jack. You put it in. You can watch the video. Don't think for a second that I will watch it. I am not going to watch the male members of my workplace undressing. I can get it all hooked up for you. We'll catch this bastard."

Sam turned and smiled at Jack. Jack couldn't help but smile back.

"Thanks, Sam."

It was silent for a few minutes before either said anything. Then Jack turned to Sam. "We can't let Daniel loose his place on SG-1 permanently. He promised me he wouldn't hurt himself because he still had to find Sha're. We sure as Hell can't have him find Sha're if he isn't allowed off-world. He told me, that sometimes it just seems easier than dealing with all the shit thrown on his plate." Sam looked at Jack in astonishment.

"Well, not quite in those words."

"Still. Sir… Jack… I know this is against protocol, but I think it's best we don't tell General Hammond this. If he knows, he will have to report it and it will just look worse."

"I know, Sam. I know. That's why this stays between you, me and all the bats watching us in the sky."

Sam smiled weakly at his joke.

Jack jabbed a thumb towards the door. "Head back in?"

Daniel awoke to a dark house. The large Jaffa was still sitting in a chair near him, watching a movie, _Lord of the Rings, I think, _while the other two members of his were sound asleep on a couch next to the chair Daniel had usurped. Daniel started to rise.

"Daniel Jackson, are you well?" Teal'c's face never turned from the TV.

"Peachy." _Spending too much time with Jack I see._

"I am almost finished with this succession of movies. Are you too departing to regain your strength?"

"Yes. I am sleeping most of the time now." Daniel said with a bit of regret. He hadn't touched his books since he'd gotten here. All he had done was sleep, cry and stare at the picture of Sha're.

"Indeed. If you require anything, I am here."

"Thanks, Teal'c, but I think I'm okay." _I wish. _

"Goodnight Daniel Jackson."

"'Night Teal'c."

Daniel went to the spare room. He had spent enough time here that he didn't need the light to know where everything was that he needed. He found the medicine canister without much difficulty. The dosage was one, but it wasn't doing anything so Daniel decided to take a second.

Sleep came before too long. Everything seemed grayish and all his memories became a haze. They didn't matter at all. There was nothing, nothing but gray.

Jack awoke as the morning light started to filter through the windows. Sam was sleep next to him and Teal'c was watching a movie. It appeared to be Star Wars. Daniel was nowhere to be seen.

"Whoa, Teal'c. Where's the little Spacemonkey run off too?"

"He is regaining his strength, resting in the room which resides behind us."

"Ah." Jack was actually surprised, for a couple of reasons. One, Daniel hadn't woken him up when he left, _Which means I must have had a lot more beer than I thought I did. _And two, Daniel hadn't woken him up with nightmares at all. _Once again, I give credit to the beer. _Jack winced. _Yep, definitely the beer. _His head was throbbing.

Jack rolled out of the couch he'd been sharing with Carter all night (on separate ends). _Not going to be a good day if this doesn't pass soon_.

"Are you not well, Colonel O'Neill?"

"Peachy."

Teal'c turned his head, if not his eyes, with a raise eyebrow towards Jack. "What?" Jack asked, a little sharply.

"It is nothing. Daniel Jackson responded in the same manner earlier this morning when he left."

Jack nodded his head. "Okaayyy," he dragged the word out. "I'm gong to go check on Daniel." It didn't matter that Jack had said a word, for Teal'c's attention was already on the TV again.

Jack slipped back to Daniel's bedroom door. He was lying still on his bed, picture of Sha're in hand. It touched Jack how even after she was taken, Daniel had remained so loyal to his wife. Granted it hadn't been too long, but Jack had left his wife after he exited his boozed over state from when their little boy Charlie had shot himself. A brief moment of grief touched Jack.

Then he turned away from his memories and back to the present. Daniel was still absolutely still in his bed. It almost bothered Jack because he couldn't remember ever seeing the archeologist sleep so still. The pills were next to Daniel's bed, the cap still open. _It was probably just the pill he took. _Then Jack remembered that Daniel had taken a pill the day before and he had still tossed restlessly.

Jack rushed through the door, praying the noise would wake Daniel up.

Daniel was still sleeping soundly.

A check of his vitals said he was still alive and the pulse was strong.

Daniel cracked an eye open. He blinked as if trying to decide if the Jack sitting on the bed next to him was real or not. "God! You gave me a scare!"

Daniel looked confused. "You weren't moving. You always move, Daniel."

Daniel pulled his hand from Sha're's photo and rubbed his eyes. Then he reached out for his glasses. "I took two pills because one wasn't cutting it."

"Tell me next time!" Jack growled.

"You were asleep! I didn't want to wake you again, like every other night the last week!" Daniel protested. His eyes pleaded. _Trust me, _they said.

"I know. I… I just can't help but worry. See what you're doing to me Daniel! I'm turning into a mom!" Daniel smiled feebly, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Daniel looked back at the picture of Sha're. "She used to always worry about me. Make sure I ate and drank all the time, especially when I was sucked into work."

"Work? What could you possible work on in Abydos? Everyone would work for you if you asked them too."

"I'd go crazy! I couldn't possible do nothing for a year! Anyways, there were tons of things to translate! It was like living in Ancient Egypt!" Daniel sat up, getting very animated in his memories..

"Daniel. Remember, I was there."

Daniel was pulled from his reverie. "I was so happy there. I wish I'd never unburied the gate. I shouldn't have. Then Sha're would still be here and Skaa'ra. Jack, that was all my fault, I made that decision." Daniel looked down at his hands. Jack wasn't sure where all this shame was coming from. It was like Daniel was getting hit from all sides with guilt he didn't even deserve.

"Daniel. You didn't know what was going to happen. If you hadn't done that, I never would have seen you again, Sam wouldn't have ever gone off world and Teal'c would still be first prime to Apophis. You have touched so many lives since the beginning of the Stargate Program, more than you would ever guess. Would you sacrifice all those people?"

Daniel looked away, but Jack knew the answer. Daniel was too selfless to say yes.

"You are important to all the people here. We need you." Jack was almost pleading for Daniel to listen to him, because Daniel had a somewhat glazed look over his eyes.

"Come on, Daniel. We have breakfast to make, and if I don't get something in my stomach soon, it won't be pretty. Next time, don't let me drink so much."

Daniel blinked his eyes, pulling away from his thoughts. "I don't think I could stop you if I tried. Anyways, I'll just fall asleep."

Jack smiled. Daniel was on an upswing. Now if only Jack could keep him there.

All of SG-1 sat around Jack's kitchen table. Sam had been the one who ended up making breakfast, because she was the only one who could make pancakes. Jack helped Sam find the utensils and food that she needed and attempted to direct her, until she shooed him away. Teal'c had to be dragged away from the epic Star Wars movies. Daniel had gone back to being silent and stuck in memories.

Soon, how flapjacks were laying on the table with three hungry people and one submissive one eating.

"Sam, these are delicious!" Jack said with a mouthful. _It still seems so weird calling Carter 'Sam'. I can't get used to it. It's like a different language, which is probably why it doesn't bother Daniel at all._

Jack glanced over at the compliant Dr. He was pushing a chunk of pancake around in syrup. "Put it in your mouth, Daniel. Food is usually better when you eat it."

Daniel looked meekly from his plate.

Jack looked at the face. It was pale still, but not as pale as before. It was drawn and tight, but not nearly as bad as it had been. The eyes still looked lost though, like a puppy separated from its mother. _We'll get you there. Some way. Some how. _

_

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Not one of my best chapters, but a long one. Sorry for the wait, I got stuck sanding for my dad. Ick. I promise to get another one up ASAP. Thanks for the support, and remember, review!!!

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	15. Chapter 15

Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I got really busy. So, here ya go! Reviews loved as always!

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Jack looked at the door to the room solemnly. Daniel was in the room alone with that creep of a doctor McKenzie. Jack wanted to be there with him. He wanted to support Daniel, to make the Dr. back off. Of course, Jack wasn't allowed to watch, he didn't even know how it was going, but he could imagine. _Daniel throwing himself away from the Doctor, tears, shouting, weeping… Or it could be perfectly fine and Daniel is getting better, opening up… Tears, yelling. Daniel will never open up to a stranger. Who would? _Jack paced around anxiously. _I should talk to General Hammond. Tell him Daniel has to stay on SG-1. _Jack walked off quickly, with the need to do something. He couldn't just sit and wait when his friend needed him. 

Jack made it to Hammond's office in record time. "Sir? A moment," he asked as he knocked on the door. There was an officer in there already. Hammond dismissed the other man to let Jack come in.

"I want to talk to you about…"

"I know, son." Hammond drawled out.

"Sir, I think he will be okay if we keep him on SG-1, but if we take him off, I can't be so sure."

"Explain, Colonel."

"Daniel promised me he wouldn't hurt himself, because of Sha're. He has to find Sha're. It gives him a purpose. If we take that away, we will be literally destroying his life. We can't take him of SG-1." Jack looked at the General, almost pleadingly.

"Colonel. I already told you it was out of my hands. I will add this new information to our fight, but I don't know if it would make it better. Knowing that Dr. Jackson may still be suicidal could hurt our argument."

"There has to be something we can do!"

Hammond lowered his shining baldhead. "Not at the moment. You and Captain Carter and Teal'c will be returning to active duty in two days. I will pick a replacement for Dr. Jackson for your team."

"A _temporary_ replacement." General Hammond didn't respond.

"What about Daniel? What is he going to do? Stay at home and think about everything that's happened? Let him dwell?"

"No, he will return to the SGC and continue working in his office until I have further notice from the President."

_See Danny, told ya you were important. The President knows who you are._

"Did Carter tell you about our plan to catch the bastard who's messing with Daniel's locker?"

"What I don't know, I can't stop." Hammond gave Jack a slight nod of his head, as if approving it.

"Dismissed."

Teal'c looked down upon the older man. Jack had decided to join the large Jaffa for a workout session. At the moment Jack was pummeling a punching bag. Teal'c imagined that Jack was really attacking an imaginary Hathor. "Colonel O'Neill, does the punching bag ease your anger?"

"Anger, a little; frustration, a lot."

Teal'c raised his eyebrow.

Jack paused and looked at the Jaffa. "You know Teal'c, its so hard watching Daniel go through this. I want to help him, but I can't. I feel so useless. A simple bystander as my friends life goes down the drain."

Teal'c nodded his head. "Indeed. I too have this feeling."

Daniel looked anxiously at Dr. McKenzie. He answered each question with what the doctor wanted to hear, not necessarily the true answer. If the doctor knew how he really felt, he'd be kicked off SG-1. Daniel was sure of this.

"Have you had any reoccurring feelings of suicide?"

"No."

"Does the event affect your moods?"

"Not anymore."

"Does it affect your daily judgment?"

"No."

"Have you been depressed or overly stressed since the event?"

"In the beginning, not anymore. I am hardly doing anything, nothing to get stressed over."

"How did the event make you feel?"

"I don't know! Weak! Hurt! Unfaithful!" Daniel was starting to get annoyed with Dr. McKenzie. He was relentless in his questions. He would ask the same question over and over in different fashions. The answers were always the same.

"You had no control over this event, yes?"

Daniel froze. He wanted to say no _I didn't try to stop it. I wasn't strong enough _but his head stopped him. If he said no, he certainly wouldn't get to keep his job. "Yes." He said it with such coolness compared to his last few remarks that the good doctor looked up with surprise.

"Are you certain?"

_No. _"Yes."

"Hathor forcefully raped you?"

Daniel had a sinking feeling. He didn't like talking about it. He wanted to leave. _Once again, NO! _"Yes."

"Will you describe the event from when you entered the room to speak with the goa'uld Hathor?"

Daniel felt like crying. He didn't want to think about it. He had thought about it almost constantly for the last week and a half.

Daniel went to describe the sequence of events, not going in to great detail about anything and never mentioning her name.

"Do feel that Hathor will come back to reclaim you as her goa'uld mate?" Dr. McKenzie looked up at Daniel for this question.

Daniel was shocked at the question. He hadn't thought of Hathor coming back for him. "You think I'm a risk to have here because of Her '_feelings_' towards me? You have to be kidding me!" Daniel felt a sense of dread wash over him. He had avoided answering the question as best as he could.

Dr. McKenzie didn't answer. He just watched Daniel, making him very uncomfortable.

Daniel was sure his face was pale. "She doesn't 'feel' anything. She is a goa'uld," he said as calmly as he could, but his hands were clenched together under the table and white as snow.

Dr. McKenzie wrote something down, and moved on, seemingly sensing Daniel's distress.

"Do you fear something of this nature happening again in the future?"

Daniel paused, thinking a moment. "I guess so, but I can't let that influence what I do. I have a life to live and fear can't be a part of it." It was the first completely honest answer he'd given.

Dr. McKenzie looked at Daniel with a sort of interest then. "Now, Daniel. I am going to ask all the questions again. This time, answer them as _honestly _as you can."

_Shit. _

Daniel left the room from Dr. McKenzie. He had to admit, it made him feel better to say what he was truly feeling, but it also made him feel weak. Surely Dr. McKenzie was thinking he would have done better if he himself had been in the situation.

Dr. McKenzie had noticed how Daniel hadn't used Hathor's name once in the discussion. He had asked Daniel about it. _'I guess it just makes it all more real. I would rather forget the whole thing,' _Daniel had answered.

Daniel ran a hand through his hair. _I surely won't get to keep my job now. Now that Dr. McKenzie knows how I really am. _Tears choked Daniel's throat up. He wasn't ready to deal with the idea that he may not be able to return to his search for Sha're.

Daniel closed his eyes for a moment.

"Daniel? How was it?"

Daniel opened his eyes to a concerned Jack. "Not a bad as I feared." Daniel smiled weakly.

"You were in there a long time," Jack stated. "Want to get something to eat?"

Daniel nodded, not sure he could answer vocally.

Soon the two were seated in the cafeteria with two trays of food, one full, one with little on it.

Jack hadn't looked at Daniel and hadn't spoken since they'd entered the room. Daniel wondered what was bothering his friend. He didn't wait much longer before he found out. Jack swallowed his bite and messed with his spaghetti with his fork.

"Daniel. Hammond has ordered us back to duty."

"That's great!" Daniel felt so happy he could burst. "When do we leave?"

"You're not. Hammond wants you to hang out here for a while. Someone is temporarily being assigned to SG-1 until you are fully recovered and McKenzie gives you the 'a okay.'" Jack was still looking at his plate, so he missed Daniel's fallen face. _I knew it. They are taking everything from me! I won't be able to get Sha're. _A wave of guilt assaulted Daniel.

"You're supposed to stay at the base while we are gone and get back to the desk work you've missed so much."

Daniel faked a smile for Jack as he looked up at his little joke. He didn't think he could eat anymore.

"Daniel? Are you going to be okay?"

"Sure Jack. I am going to go to my office and get started." Daniel left his laden tray on the table and rushed from the room. He didn't want Jack to see the tears in his eyes. He'd seen enough of them.

Daniel didn't go to his office. He went to the locker rooms. The shower was the best place to hid tears in this building. _A very _hot _shower. _


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry it took so long. Life got busy! Thanks for the reviews everone! Please, review and tell me what you think!

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Jack looked down at his half eaten lunch. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. _I should follow Daniel. _Jack closed his eyes for a moment, wishing for all of it to go away. He peaked his eyes back open. _Nope, still here. _Jack left his seat and followed the path the archeologist had to leave the room.

Soon Jack was standing at the door of an empty dark office. _Okay, so Daniel didn't go to his office. Maybe he got called away, _Jack thought logically, but his gut wasn't following. He felt like something was wrong. _Please say Daniel is okay, please! _

Daniel looked at the water draining below him. Around and around it seemed to go. It was hypnotizing. _Time to get out. _He was feeling a little better now and the water had become awfully chilly.

Daniel climbed out of the shower with a towel around his waste. He heard the door squeak open. Daniel froze. Could it be…

There was a soft patter of feet. Daniel pulled himself back into a shower. Then the feet stopped. There was no locker sounds, no stripping of clothes. No sounds, except papers being shuffled.

Daniel's curiosity got the best of him. He had to know who it was. He tiptoed as silently as he could out of the shower and into the locker area. A man in the blue BDU uniform was standing by Daniel's locker, but Daniel couldn't see his face. He wasn't sure whether he should confront the person or hide. Daniel chose the latter. He went back into the showers and waited. Soon the door squeaked and someone left. Daniel knew he couldn't go to the locker and face what ever had been thrust inside. But he couldn't leave in a towel either. Fear swallowed him up. He was afraid, afraid to see what they might say. What else he hadn't considered. Daniel started to shiver uncontrollably. He couldn't stop. The door opened again.

"Daniel? Are you in here?"

_Jack. _Warmth came with the familiar voice and the shivering slowed. Daniel walked around the corner yet again to stare face to face with his friend.

"Daniel? What are you doing? This certainly isn't your office. Why don't you get dressed and we'll go bug Carter?"

Daniel blushed when he remembered he was only wrapped in a towel. Then his fear came again with more shivers. Jack must have noticed.

"What's wrong?"  
Daniel looked down. "I can't open my locker," he whispered.

"Everyone has trouble opening their lockers from time to time. Nothing to be ashamed of."

Daniel shook his head and covered his face with his hand. "No… not like that." Daniel didn't want to explain. He didn't want to tell Jack he was afraid.

Jack seemed to take the hint. Jack stood still thinking for a moment, then went to his locker and opened it up. "Wear some of mine for the day." Daniel acquiesced gratefully. The clothes were a little big, but they would do. Jack pulled a small video camera from the top shelf with a hose that had been stuck in the upper vent of the locker.

"And now, we can find out who did this," Jack smirked.

Jack pretended that he hadn't been afraid. He had locked the fear deep down where only he could find it. Over the last two weeks, it didn't matter how many times Daniel promised not to do anything, Jack still feared the worst. It didn't matter how many times Daniel had disappeared or seemed suicidal and was perfectly fine, the fear was just as great each time. But this time was different. Jack blamed himself. _If Daniel had hurt himself… it would have been entirely my fault. I drove him to the edge. I told him he was off the team temporarily, but he knows as well as I that if they're adding someone else to take his place it isn't going to be a _short_ temporary. Please don't hate me Daniel. I tried. _

Jack glimpsed over at Daniel. Daniel had fallen asleep in chair as Jack watched the video in Jack seldom used office. Jack just figured Daniel didn't want to know who it was. He didn't want to know someone he had worked with hated him. Daniel woke up at that moment. He rubbed his eyes groggily.

"Good afternoon, sunshine." Jack said without looking at Daniel.

"Have you found who yet?" Daniel asked through a yawn.

"Nope. You've only been asleep a few minutes. I had to fast forward from the beginning, so I have about two days of tape to go through. This might take a while."

Jack could hear Daniel get up. "I'm going to get a book from my office." Daniel shuffled out of the office into the dim lit hallway.

Jack watched Daniel out of the corner of his eye until he disappeared beyond the doorframe. His attention was pulled back to the screen. Some people flew in and out of the screen, appearing to be SG-6. Soon they were gone. Time went by yet again. Another group came and went. Then a single person came. Alone.

The person went to Daniel's locker, right next to Jacks. Jack got a close up of his face. "Captain Morrison?" Jack whispered and froze the image. It was definitely Captain Morrison, the hot shot and extreme pro-military kid on SG-4. Had fantastic skill with a weapon, not much with a brain.

Jack got up and followed Daniel to his office.

Daniel entered his office and flipped on the light. He was surprised at what he saw. There was a man standing at his desk with paper and tape. Daniel's computer was invisible, covered in papers. Daniel knew what they said.

The man twirled around, surprised at seeing anyone there.

"Can I help you?" Daniel asked. The man didn't look familiar, except maybe his hair, but only faintly.

The man's face became angry and red. _Last time I ask _that_ question, _Daniel thought. Even for his sarcastic thought, he was still a tad scared. What had he done to enrage this man?

"You could go to Hell," the man whispered venomously. Daniel backed away towards the door.

"No you don't!" the man yelped and lunged towards Daniel. Soon the two men were on the ground, the stranger on top of Daniel. Daniel was struggling to get out of the man's hold but it was too tight and he was too heavy. The man sat on his chest, pushing the air out. It was getting hard to breathe. Daniel gasped out.

"You should have been more careful, _Dr. Jackson_. You should be laying dead six feet under! I tried to make you do it yourself, but after the first time, you were to _chicken_ to do try again." Daniel started to realize who this person was. There was no name to go with the face, but the hatred, he recognized. Daniel tried to talk, but he couldn't. The man punched the side of his head. _Ow! _

Daniel struggled. The man got up and pulled Daniel up by his hair, punching him in the stomach. The hateful stranger reached for something on his desk. _A knife!_ Daniel tried to pull away from the man, but he was unable, his limbs seemed heavy and incapable of movement. The yanking on his head made his head spin and Daniel felt a headache coming.

"You shouldn't have been on SG-1. You are a lowly civilian, with no military expertise. You don't belong here, and I won't have you ratting on me!" Daniel tried once more to pull free as the knife was coming at him. He managed to get mostly out of the way, but it grazed his side. It hurt. A lot. The man hit him with the flat of blade across the side of his head. Darkness came. Daniel felt himself crumple to the ground. _I'm sorry Jack. _


	17. Chapter 17

Here you all go! Promise to update soon, if you all promise to review. Good, bad, otherwise, I don't care; REVIEW! Thanks!

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Jack came into Daniel's office. "Daniel, I know…" He saw Captain Morrison on top of Daniel. Daniel seemed to be unconscious. "Get off him, Captain!" Jack yelled. He could see the knife that was poised and ready to strike. Jack hadn't been prepared for this. He tried to inch closer so as to be able to disarm the man.

Morrison looked up with shock, then with rage. "How dare you talk to me like that!" the man yelled. _And Daniel thought _he_ was insane. Look at this guy! _

"Morrison, that was an order!" Jack snapped, kicking the man's arm to get the knife away from Daniel. The Captain was able to keep the knife in his hand by pure luck.

"You would protect this civilian scum? He doesn't belong here!" Morrison pulled his arm quickly back and Jack recognized the draw back for a stab. Jack kicked the man hard in the chest, pushing him off Daniel and into the desk. The knife flew out of Morrison's hand. The faux wood desk side crumbled at impact and it rained paper onto Morrison._ Forgive me for making a mess of your office, Daniel. _

Jack grabbed the knife from the place on the floor it had slid to.

Jack jumped up to the phone and called the infirmary. "A med team to Dr. Jackson's office."

Jack knelt over Daniel. He was bleeding a little out of his side, but nothing a few stitches wouldn't fix. He had the look of a nasty set of bruises coming on the side of his face. Other than that, Jack assessed him as all right. Nonetheless, a med team came and picked Daniel and Morrison up. Morrison came to after a moment, and walked with some assistance to the infirmary. Daniel got the gurney.

Jack followed behind. _You know this isn't fair, Daniel. No one should have to watch his friend suffer like this. No one._

Janet watched as Jack sat by Daniel's bed. The two were like fire and water, yet they had managed to become best friends. It was a true lesson that friendship overcomes all obstacles.

Janet glanced over at her other patient. Morrison was sitting in a dazed shock. _Guess he can't accept that he has lost. I wonder what the General will do with him. _

Daniel groaned and an eye peeped open. Janet came over with her penlight. A quick flash in each eye to check the pupils, and Daniel seemed to be coming too all right. "How are you feeling?"

Daniel took a second to recall what had happened before he answered. "All right I guess. What happened?"

"Colonel O'Neill came and saved you." Janet gave Daniel a smile. "I'll come back and check on you in a while."

Jack brushed off the praise of the little doctor. "It was just a…" Jack gestured a punch, but never finished his sentence. "So you're sure your okay?"

"Better than ever." _Sarcasm, that has to be good._ "Jack," Daniel paused. "What's going to happen to me?"

Jack looked at Daniel with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean?"

"I feel like the world- Hell, the universe- has it in for me. And now I don't have anywhere in it. I don't think I can take much more of this. What am I supposed to do?"

Jack felt all choked up at the lost, troubled sound of Daniel's voice. He seemed like a child lost in a world without his parents. A world he wasn't ready for. Or one that wasn't ready for him.

"You're going to hang in there, Daniel. This won't go on forever. Hammond will give you back your place on SG-1, as soon as he thinks you're better."

Daniel looked to the foot of his bed, away from Jack. "I guess so."

"Daniel! You promised! Remember, I may not be here, but I won't let anything happen to you." Jack said it with such ferocity that Daniel had to look back at him. Surprise registered upon his face.

"I promised and I don't plan on going back on my promise," Daniel pledged. "I can't guarantee the rest of the world though."

"We'll figure out a way to keep you safe. I don't know how yet, but the infirmary should be a good place to hold you. Or keep the rest of the world back. Either works." Jack smiled down at Daniel. Daniel was once again resting his gaze upon his feet. Jack was worried. He wouldn't be here, so how could he ensure nothing happened to Daniel in his absence? _I can't. _

Jack left Daniel then. He had to speak with Hammond about their mission in two days and about Morrison. He really wasn't in the mood to leave with Daniel stuck alone here. _He has other friends and work… sort of. It's amazing how someone can be completely alone with thousands of people around them._

Soon Hammond's office door was in front of Jack. Jack poked his head through. "Knock, knock, sir."

"Come on in, Colonel."

"Sir, I know you've probably heard all about the Captain Morrison thing, but I would like permission to beat the crap out of him, sir."

Hammond smiled at Jack. "Permission denied. What is this really about, Colonel?"

"I wanted to find out what is happening to Captain Morrison and find out if Daniel will really be all right here."

"Captain Morrison will be court-martialed. He will stay in a VIP room under guard until he is imprisoned."

"Can the mission on Thursday be pushed back?"

"I don't see why, Colonel. Daniel Jackson will be perfectly safe here. I will personally keep and eye on him. You're team will go through the 'gate Thursday at 09:00."

"But sir…"

"Dismissed."

Daniel closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. All he wanted to do was think. Back in his office when Morrison had attacked him he had been afraid for his life, yet at the same time, he had told himself he was ready. If Morrison had killed him, he told himself he would have accepted it as final peace and let go, but would he? _Its amazing how trying to kill yourself is so hard, yet trying to let someone else kill you is even harder. _

Footsteps and a familiar voice let Daniel know Jack was back. He didn't want to talk to Jack about this. Not here. Safely in a room with four walls and only the two SG-1 members, _you're not SG-1 anymore, Daniel. Have to remember that. _"Daniel? You awake?" Jack pulled a chair to the side of the bed.

_To answer or not to answer, that is the question. _"Yes, Jack." _Answer it is._

"Hammond won't let us move our mission back, so I thought I'd come and keep you company now, while I can." Daniel opened his eyes to look over at his friend.

"Why would you move you're mission?"

"To make sure you were okay and safe," Jack glanced over his shoulder at Morrison two beds down.

"Jack, I'm _fine_." Daniel looked up into Jack's eyes. "I'm going to be _fine._"

Jack smiled. "That's good to hear, Spacemonkey. Good to hear."

Jack had left for a while so Sam had come to check on Daniel to see how he was doing. She had heard of the events that had taken place from Teal'c who heard it from Colonel O'Neill soon after Daniel had been taken to the infirmary. Sam was worried about her friend. She didn't want to leave him here with out the rest of SG-1 watching over him.

"Daniel?" Sam sat in the vacated seat and put her hand on his arm. He opened his eyes and looked over at her. "Hello, Sam. How is the project going?"

"I had to stop working on it. It's going to be sent to Area 51. I have a new project now. No where near as interesting."

Daniel looked at her with sympathy. "I'm sorry. That is depressing. I really wanted to find who had made that. I guess things don't always go the way we want them too, huh."

"Yeah." Sam looked down at her laden hands. "I brought you some books from your desk. I would have brought you your papers but it's a bit of a mess."

Daniel looked at her with confusion. "Not really. All the papers I am using currently are in a stack at the left corner."

Sam flushed. "Daniel, did the Colonel tell you how he stopped Morrison?"

"No, why?"

"He broke your desk. There are papers everywhere."

"So that's why Jack didn't really want to talk about it. I'm not mad. He saved my life. Oh well. Just something else to do while you all are away." Daniel looked sadly at his hands.

"It's just a short in and out mission. We'll be back before you even noticed we were gone." Sam smiled with the hope she was trying to give Daniel. He smiled sadly.

"I don't think that's possible."

"You're stronger than you think. Hang in there. You'll be okay."

"I think you're right, I am going to be okay."


	18. Chapter 18

Daniel Jackson watched as his friends left through the Stargate. It was two days since Daniel's attack and he had been allowed out of the infirmary. Jack, Sam, Teal'c and a Major Vencent walk out into the 'Gate room. Jack glanced up at the glass window and smiled. Daniel felt that Jack's eyes were looking at him, not anyone else. Daniel smiled and waved. He could make this as easy as he could on them. They shouldn't feel bad about leaving him. The wormhole came to life, and Jack gave a small wave. Sam glanced up and smiled, but then all four turned and walked through the gate.

Daniel knew that Jack still worried about him after the events two days previous, but Daniel wasn't afraid. Morrison had been taken to a VIP room yesterday and was being transported to a prison at some point today. Daniel was supposed to attend the trial in a few days, though Daniel would do anything to avoid it. He didn't want to know why or, well, just why, Morrison did it. Daniel didn't want to think about what other people he worked with or didn't even know were thinking.

Weariness came over Daniel then. He no longer felt he needed to keep up the show to his friends. He hadn't been sleeping well the last few nights. Nightmares plagued him, seeing as Dr. Fraiser's meds were all gone. Daniel knew he should go get more, but the idea of telling Dr. Fraiser that he had been taking more than he was supposed to didn't really appeal to him.

Daniel took his leave of the control room. There was nothing much for him to do but finish translations and clean up the disaster zone his office had become. He decided he should attempt to work on translations, but not in his office. He didn't feel like cleaning. Daniel picked some papers up from his office and went to a VIP room he had been assigned until SG-1 returned. _SG-1. Not me. Them. I am not SG-1 now. _The thought depressed Daniel. He thrust himself full force into his work to avoid further thought.

Hathor touched his cheek. "You are our beloved. We will take great pleasure from you." Her voice was a cold as ice. Daniel shivered.

"_The one you call O'Neill, he will suffer for his insolence. Then we will change him, give him the best possible gift." She paused and looked at Daniel, eyes flashing, literally. "That is except the one we bestow upon you, my beloved."_

_Daniel tried to pull away as she strode over to him, but he was unable. His muscles wouldn't, couldn't obey his mind. They were someone else's to control now. _

"_Yes, Beloved." Daniel heard himself respond. "He has done many things punishable by death towards you."_

"_You will help me and you will find it most pleasurable."_

_Daniel's mind yelled out against her. He called her all sorts of filthy names in languages she wouldn't understand, but she could not hear any of it. _

"_Yes, Beloved."_

_She stripped to her undergarments with a pull on her dress and pulled him close, into a passionate kiss. Her lips meshing with his. Daniel melted into her. He knew she wasn't Sha're, but it had been so long and he couldn't fight. No fight was left in him._

_There were no words after that._

Daniel pulled himself from the nightmare. He didn't want to see any more of the things he had agreed to, of what she said and did. It had been horrid. Daniel felt cold, iced to his bones. So cold he couldn't shiver.

Daniel had fallen asleep at his desk in his VIP room. He stood from his chair, a paper stuck on his arm. His legs were weak and his knees gave, letting his fall back to his chair.

Daniel struggled to control his grief. He had almost forgotten all he had agreed to do for Her. He leaned back into his chair and stared at the blank wall.

I can't do this. Not alone. I need someone to help me.

Dr. McKenzie had a knock at his door. He had a temporary office that he used whenever he came to the SGC to give psych evaluations.

"It's unlocked," he answered without looking up from his papers. He glanced to see who entered and was surprised to see Dr. Jackson enter hesitantly.

"Am I bothering you?"

McKenzie stopped filling out his latest report and laid his pen down. "No! Not at all. What can I do for you, Dr. Jackson?"

"Daniel."

"All right, Daniel." Dr. McKenzie looked up at Daniel waiting for the answer to his question.

"I just need someone to talk to. With SG-1 gone, I don't have anyone really. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you." Daniel turned a little as though he would leave.

"No, no it is perfectly fine. Come sit down. Tell me what is on your mind."

Daniel came back and sat across from the psychologist. "I keep having these dreams…"

Jack walked through the gate with the rest of his team, _minus Daniel,_ behind his back.

"Welcome home, SG-1. Debriefing at 13:00. That gives you about half an hour."

The group had been gone for a little over a day. Jack had worried about Daniel the whole time, though couldn't help but be happy to be back at work. _I can't really decide where I should be, at Daniel's side helping him recover, or doing the job I love with other people I love, minus one. Both are such important and needy projects._ Jack headed to Daniel's office to see how Daniel was coping. The room was all cleaned up, papers somewhat neatly placed on the desk, books in the shelves, new desk in place.

Daniel was reading some old dusty looking book that could have come out of Lord of the Rings.

"Daniel! You look great! Getting back into the swing of things?"

Daniel looked up. "Oh, hello Jack. Didn't hear you come in. Yeah, I guess. Been a bit lack luster around here. How was the mission?"

Jack was surprised. Daniel seemed… well, almost normal, truth be told. His attention was stuck in his book; he wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings. He didn't notice Jack much. It made Jack feel a bit sad that he wouldn't be getting his friends attention like he had. "Fine. Nothing much happened. The people were nice. Spoke in some weird English so we could all understand them. They thought we were gods, like normal. It was a plain normal mission."

"Everyone is all right then? No one got hurt?"

"Everyone is fine."

Daniel didn't say anything in response. He was reading still, pencil in hand, translating on another paper beside him.

"I guess I'll leave you to you're work then." Jack turned and left. _Yes, definitely back to normal._ Jack couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret.

SG-1 plus Daniel were all eating together in the commissary. It was a bit awkward with five chairs, Vencent at the end. Everyone was getting along well enough. Major Vencent and Daniel chatted like old friends, Sam listening and throwing in some comments. Teal'c and Jack sat on the other end of the table. "It would appear that Daniel Jackson has healed and returned to normal."

Jack looked up from his platter of food at the Jaffa across him. "Yeah. I guess so."

"You are not happy?" Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"Peachy." Jack said without any excitement.

Daniel, who was sitting next to Teal'c, pulled out of his conversation. He looked at Jack with a puzzled expression. "Are you mad at me, Jack?"

Jack looked at him straight in the eyes. "No, of course not. Should I be?"

Daniel didn't look like the answer satisfied him. "No, I guess not." He turned away from Teal'c back to Vencent, but Jack could see that Daniel wasn't paying much attention to the conversation with Vencent and Carter. Jack shoveled in the last of his ravioli and stood up. "I will bid you all goodnight. I am going home to rest up for whatever is planned here for tomorrow."

Daniel stood also after shoving in his last bite. Jack looked at him puzzled.

Daniel flushed, "I thought I was still going to stay at your house," he mumbled. "I can stay here though." Daniel looked down at his tray.

"You can come still. Daniel, my door is always open for you. Always."

Daniel looked up with a smile. "Great!"

Daniel followed Jack from the commissary.

Soon the two were in Jack's car traveling towards home.

"Jack, is something wrong?"

"No," Jack lied.

"Something is wrong. Tell me, Jack!" Daniel sounded distressed.

"Nothing is wrong! You are getting well, life is getting back to somewhat normal."

"Are you mad at me for getting better?" Daniel sounded shocked.

"No! Why would I be mad at you being healthy and stable?" _It's me not you. Drop it._

"I don't know." Daniel stopped talking. He became very quiet as though he had read Jack's thoughts.

Jack stopped at a red light. He could see the red light giving Daniel's face a sinister look.

Daniel was hugging himself, arms wrapped tight as he always did. "I'm sorry," he offered.

"For what?" Jack asked.

"For whatever I did to get you upset."

"For cryin' out loud! You didn't do anything!"

The light turned green, changing the look Daniel had. Jack was still looking at him. He didn't stop until the car behind him honked, angry at his refusal to move.

"Jack the light's green."

"Yeah, I know," Jack grumbled and released the brake.

The rest of the ride was completely silent. It wasn't really awkward, but a little uncomfortable. Jack was very thankful for the release as he pulled into his driveway. Daniel took his time getting out of the car, but Jack hopped out quickly and unlocked his front door.

Daniel followed Jack inside.

"Do you want to watch some hockey?" Jack asked.

Daniel shrugged. "I should work. I have so much to catch up." Daniel seemed torn.

"Come on, I'll give you a beer."

"I don't drink," Daniel replied.

The beer was already in his hands. "Today you do. Cheers to the return of a normal life."

"Yes. Normal," Daniel toasted back.

For a moment there, Daniel didn't seem quite normal. His face seemed pinched and tight, his eyes guarded and thoughts and actions withdrawn. Jack brushed the feeling off. It was the dim lighting and a desire for his friend to confide in him, _need _him again.

Both men swigged their drink, Daniel a bit more hesitant than Jack. Jack flipped the TV on and switched to a channel showing the latest hockey game. Jack sat down on the couch, Daniel in a chair.

As much as Jack loved hockey, his mind traveled to other worlds. _How did Daniel get better so quickly? I was only gone a day! Was I hindering his healing? Was I holding him back for my sake? Do I really need him that badly, as badly as he needed me? _Needed. It hit him hard. Daniel didn't _need _him as much now. Daniel was back to his self-reliant self.

Daniel gave a little cheer. Jack pulled himself back to reality.

"Jack, they just scored! Why are you so morose?"

"Who scored?"

"The ones with the red and white."

"That's the other team. I want the blue and yellow to win." Jack didn't really care who won. His favorite team wasn't playing so it didn't matter much to him.

"Oh." Daniel sounded a bit tipsy.

"Daniel? You really don't drink much do you?"

"No. Let me think… Don't know when I last had one."

"No more for you. Last thing I need is you dumping your insides on my floor."

"Okay. If you say so."

The attention turned back to the TV.

"Jack?"

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No." jack was getting frustrated. Why wouldn't Daniel just let it drop?

"Good. I was afraid that you would be."

"Why?" The hockey game lost all interest.

"For talking to Dr. McKenzie."

"I asked you to talk to him so you could come home with me!"

"No! No… not then… yesterday… I talked to him _yesterday_… Do you think he'll let me back on SG-1? I hope so."

"I'm sure he will. Wait… you talked to McKenzie yesterday? Why? Who made you this time?"

"Oh, no... No… No one _made_ me, Jack. I _choose_ to go. I _needed_ to talk to someone and you weren't there."

"What did you talk about?"

"Nightmares. Have I ever told you how much I hate nightmares? How much I hate _Her_?"

"You're still having nightmares?"

"Yep. Do you have another one of these?" Daniel held up the empty bottle. Jack went against his better judgment and got another for both of them.

"Tell me about you're nightmares."


	19. Chapter 19

Here is some more excitemnt for you all! Its a long one as my chapters go! Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter! Please, once you've read, click that little button on the bottom and send me a review! I love feedback!

* * *

Daniel sat in is office. He had a terrible headache and he felt like his stomach was on strike. He had tried to continue translating this ancient Latin book, but the hangover was a bit much.

Daniel decided to go find Jack instead. _I wonder where Jack is when he's at the base. He never uses his office and he can only spend so much time eating. _Daniel decided to look in Sam's office and see if he was distracting her.

Daniel knocked on Sam's door as he entered. Her door was almost always open. The room was dark and Sam wasn't there.

Daniel frowned. Where else would Sam be? Daniel walked to the commissary, but once again to no avail. _Sparing maybe? _Jack had spared a time or two with Teal'c. Daniel smiled at the thought. It was an entertaining sport to watch. Jack always lost.

Once again there was no SG-1 member in the gym. Daniel went back to his office. He didn't know where else to look. Daniel turned back to his book again.

Around lunch, Sam poked her head in his door. "Ready to take a lunch break?"

"Ah yeah, just a moment." Daniel finished the phrase he was on and the followed Sam out the door.

"Where were you all earlier? I tried to find you, and Jack, but you seemed to have disappeared into thin air."

"We had a briefing for our next mission. We leave in a few hours."

Daniel was a bit shocked that Jack hadn't mentioned it. "Oh. Where are you going?"

"P8X-342. It seems like it will be an interesting trip for Vencent. There are at least two Mayan pyramids and a few small villages. I hope to find something of interest inside." Sam seemed to be genuinely excited about going.

"Great! Make sure Vencent takes lots of photos. I would love to see all that the Mayans did before the Spanish came. I wish I could come with you."

Sam smiled sympathetically. "I wish you were too. As friendly as Vencent is, I miss having you with us."

"I miss being there."

The commissary was busy, being that it was around the noon hour. Luckily Jack had secured a table. He waved them down as they entered the door.

"Had to camp out here for an hour, but I got us a table," Jack exaggerated. Teal'c showed up soon after.

"Where's Vencent?" Sam asked.

"Oh, he had some friends he wanted to eat with. Previous colleagues from another team or something."

Daniel wondered from the tone of Jack's voice if he really had friends or if he just hadn't been invited.

The conversation remained light through the meal. Daniel mostly listened. There was something about Jack that bothered him. His mood was very cheery and he seemed to be smiling constantly. After everyone had finished Jack stood up, excusing himself for a moment.

When he returned, there were plates of cake burdening him.

"I thought we'd celebrate with cake."

"What are we celebrating?" Daniel was completely befuddled.

"A couple of things. One: Morrison is officially going to be imprisoned, no matter how the trial goes. That I have been assured of. Two: They are reconsidering your case after McKenzie sent in a positive report for you."

"Really! So I could be back on SG-1 sooner than was expected?" Daniel thought his heart would explode with joy.

"Possibly," Sam said, but she was smiling brightly too.

"In no time, the team will be back together." Jack was definitely happy. Everyone was happy. Teal'c was even smiling, sort of.

Daniel settled into his happiness. Soon life would be back to normal.

_Normal. After working in a secret military base where we travel through wormholes to other planets. Yes. _Normal

Daniel was back in his office. The current SG-1 team had left a few hours ago and Hammond hadn't heard anything from them. Not uncommon. Hammond had told Daniel that he could possibly be back on SG-1 soon if he could stop the military bigwig from pressuring the president. Daniel had been confused. "What's the President have to do with me?"

Hammond had looked surprised at the question. "Didn't Colonel O'Neill tell you? The president was the person who took you off SG-1. He is thinking you might be all right to return to active duty after Dr. McKenzie's very positive report. Unfortunately for higher up military Generals have been pressuring for the SGC to become all military. No civilian, which would start with you being off the flagship team."

Daniel had been taken aback at that revelation. The _President_ of the United States was thinking over his personal case? It made Daniel's head swell to say the least.

Now Daniel was staring at a book in front of him, unable to concentrate. It didn't help that he was so tired. He glanced at the pill bottle Dr. McKenzie had sent him for sleeping better. They were different pills than the ones Janet had given him, so hopefully they worked better on the right dosage. Daniel took the pills and went to his VIP room. He might as well sleep now and get up early when the base was quiet and undisturbed. With a pill to help, Daniel was soon asleep with a peaceful darkness all around him.

Some one was shaking him awake. Daniel pulled himself from the depths of sleep and sat up, startling whom ever was doing the shaking. Daniel blinked in the artificial light. It was Walter Harriman. "Walter? What are you doing here?" Daniel rubbed his eyes wearily. The drugs were still affecting him.

"We have reason to believe SG-1 has been captured. General Hammond wants to see you immediately."

Daniel was up as soon as SG-1 was mentioned. _Oh no! If I had been there they might be okay!_ Daniel's positive naïve side interrupted him. _Who said they weren't okay? This could all be a misunderstanding! Certainly they are all having a fine time. _Unfortunately, Daniel's other side was panicking and didn't hear a single word. _God damnit! If I had been there they wouldn't be there._

_That is saying that you have quite a bit of influence now isn't it? Who said you could change it?_

_I don't know. _Daniel jogged desperately up to General Hammond's office.

Hammond was talking to two other military personnel. Daniel waited anxiously. As soon as Hammond was done with the two other SGC members, he waved Daniel over. "We have reason to believe that SG-1 was captured by a goa'uld on P8X-342. We are considering the risk of sending another team through to bring SG-1 home."

Daniel couldn't believe this. Just a few hours they had all been eating cake and celebrating. How could they be gone already? "I'm going to." Daniel said, "With your permission, sir."

"I expected as much. I need time to consider the risks before I give you a go, but if another team is sent, I'll let you know."

Daniel was filled with anxious energy. He was terrified and praying, sort of, for a message to come through the gate saying SG-1 was okay.

No message came.

Walter came up behind Daniel, almost getting bowled over when Daniel suddenly turned from his pacing. Walter jumped. "General Hammond will see you now."

Daniel was in the room almost before Walter finished speaking.

Hammond looked up as Daniel entered. "I believe there is a good chance we can save SG-1 without risking too many lives. I'm sending SG-3 through. You may join them. You have half an hour before you brief and then you leave."

"Thank you!" Daniel said with as much gratitude as he could pack into his voice. Hammond dismissed him and Daniel ran to his office. He packed a small bag with food supplies, a knife and a handgun. He also threw in a notepad and pencil and his video camera. His mind and heart raced. Daniel couldn't think straight because his head flipped from thought to thought too fast.

Daniel grabbed a small snack from the commissary before leaving for the briefing. He was ready to leave at a moments notice.

All of SG-3 came into the room as well. They sat down and all waited patiently for Hammond to come.

Soon the large Texan entered, his baldhead shinning in the light. He took the seat at the end of the table. "This is a simple rescue operation. You are going in and out to save SG-1, nothing else. The Stargate on the other side is in a large field. The 'gate does not seem to be guarded, though there may be Jaffa in the wooded area around. SG-1 last report in said they were going to check out the Mayan pyramid. There is believed to be a Goa'uld. Which goa'uld, we're not quite certain. Colonel Saven, is your team ready?"

"We were born ready, sir."

"Doctor Daniel Jackson will be joining your mission, Colonel. You have a go."

Hammond dismissed the team.

Saven came up to Daniel. "Welcome aboard SG-3, Jackson. Don't make me regret it." He said it coolly, but he smiled, letting Daniel know he thought he'd be fine.

"Thank you, I won't let you down." Daniel smiled back.

SG-3 and Daniel were ready to depart with in a few minutes. Daniel stood at the bottom of the Gate ramp, waiting for the wormhole to activate. He could hear Walter's familiar voice over the intercom. "Chevron six encoded. Chevron seven locked!"

The Stargate erupted into life. Then it calmed to the shimmering pool of water, waiting for the rescue team to enter.

"Godspeed." Daniel and SG-3 walked up the ramp and melted into the blue pool of light and energy.

Daniel recognized the high whistling and the cold chill of 'Gate travel. When he came through the other side, he let out an involuntary shiver. Colonel Saven and Major Kesler were already through, Captain Peicewise and Major Merker were still coming. Daniel heard their slight gasp as they exited the icy wormhole. _No matter how many times you travel through the Stargate, the excitement never dulls_, Daniel thought to himself with a small smile. _If only it were for a normal mission, not a rescue mission for my best friends. _The smile saddened.

Colonel Saven was already sending people to scout out the tree line. "Jackson!"

Daniel looked over at him. "I want you to talk to the villagers. They might know something. I'm going with you, to watch your back."

Daniel nodded, and started in a jog towards the nearest village. He could see some of the houses of wood and straw in the distance, about a mile away from the gate.

Daniel walked around the village with Saven behind him. The people were busily preparing their evening meal, and the aromas were delicious. Daniel's stomach grumbled jealously. Daniel went up to a small market stand where a young woman and an elderly man sat, waiting for customers. The woman seemed to look at him with a certain recognition that gave Daniel hope.

They spoke quickly in a language that was similar to the Egyptian the Abydonian's had spoken, but with a tinge of another language. Daniel assumed it to be Ancient Mayan. Daniel conversed in the Egyptian, seeing as he was the foremost Ancient Egyptian speaker in the world after living it for a year.

"Would you like some fruit, stranger?" the young woman asked, a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

"Actually I am looking for some friends of mine. They were dressed like me and they have not come home. Do you know where they are?"

"Aah, yes. The woman with short hair of straw, the man with dark hair, the elderly man and the servant of the Goddess? They were here earlier. I could not understand their speaking and they did not understand me. I tried to tell them the Goddess would be angry at their trespassing upon her sacred grounds, but they did not listen. They went to her temple. I have not seen them since then."

"Thank you for your help." Daniel nodded his head towards her in thanks.

"Will you buy some fruit?"

"I don't have anything to trade for it. Actually, wait a moment." Daniel pulled his pack off and started to unload it. He pulled out the granola bars he had brought. "Have one of these." She offered him a banana in return and he accepted it gratefully.

"What was that all about?" Saven asked, keeping a watchful eye on the surroundings.

"She met SG-1. They went to the temple, but Vencent doesn't know Egyptian so he couldn't speak to the people. She could not understand them and they couldn't understand her. She said a goddess lives in the temple and she doesn't approve of trespassers."

Saven pulled out his radio. "Merker, Kesler, Peicewise. We have some information on SG-1. Seems they are in the pyramid." No response came. There was dead air. "Merker, report. Are you there, Merker?" No one answered. "Shit."

Daniel felt a panic rise over him. It was up to him and Saven to save SG-1 and most of SG-3 now. _You can't panic. You have to remain calm and get to SG-1. You know they wouldn't leave you behind, _he told himself, then added,_ as long as they thought you were alive, _upon remembering a previous mission when they had left thinking he was dead.

Saven led the way towards the pyramid. Daniel tried to follow as quietly as he could, but through such thick underbrush it was hard.

With in the hour, the two crouched in the thick bushes and looked at the pyramid. There were some Jaffa moving about, but not as much as was expected from a Goa'uld.

"Not too many Jaffa patrolling. Do we know which goa'uld this is?"

"Not sure. It could be a few different ones from Mayan myths, but it's hard to be certain."

The two waited until it was semi dark before they stole across the open area around the monument. They were lucky enough to not be noticed by the few Jaffa.

The door way was easy to open, just a twist of a symbol on the wall. The hardest part was finding the symbol and getting in without any Jaffa noticing them in the light of the doorway.

Soon the two found themselves in dimly lit hallways with Egyptian symbols.

"This is interesting. It seems to be a Mayan temple turned Egyptian. That opens more doorways for Goa'ulds it could be. That also explains why the people speak a mix of Egyptian and I presume Mayan," Daniel whispered.

"Fascinating, now hush. Don't get us caught." Saven pulled them behind a pillar as some Jaffa turned a corner and passed by.

After wandering the ship for an hour and hiding in storage rooms and behind pillars, Daniel and Colonel Saven came to a door which Daniel thought might lead to the holding cells. Daniel opened the door, to be confronted with two Jaffa, their staff weapons open and ready to fire. Beyond them, Daniel could see holding cells, but they appeared empty. Saven was behind Daniel. He leaned forward and whispered in Daniel's ear. "We can take them."

Daniel didn't even get the chance to raise his gun. The Jaffa let loose their fiery bullets, striking him down and then Saven to follow. Daniel fell to the ground, his stomach on fire. _Oh God no! I can't stop them! I can't save them! This hurts!_ The Jaffa came and picked Daniel and Saven up, dragging them by their arms. "You will now meet your Goddess," one hissed.


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry it took so long. I was having some motivational issues. Better now, got it last night, and thought it all through. I know where I am going now, yeah! Hope this chapter is worthy of all you guys. It has a bit of mythology in it, if it's wrong, blame my tenth grade world myth teacher. All Goa-uld words used are translated at the bottom of the chapter, those are all thanks to Remember to review! Writers love reviewers almost as readers love writers! Here I smile innocently at you. :-) Okay, I'll leave you to your reading!

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Daniel and Saven were dragged into a makeshift throne room. Daniel glanced around. It looked as though it had originally been a room for worship, not ruling. Daniel would have studied it more, except the pain of his wound stole all his attention. He gasped as the two Jaffa dropped him. Saven fell beside him with a grunt.

"Bow before your Goddess," one Jaffa demanded in a no-nonsense voice. Daniel didn't particularly feel like complying, but he didn't have much of a choice. The Jaffa forced the two into a kneel, not hard seeing as they were already on the ground.

"Na'noweia si'taia.Nafi, Tau'ri? Come to save your friends? Your people are much too compassionate," the dual toned voice echoed in the room, deep and cold. Daniel looked up in shock. Hathor's eyes glowed in the dim lighting. Fear raced through him. _I can't do this. I'm not ready to deal with her! _Daniel succumbed to the panic. Hathor looked directly into his eyes and smiled.

"Beloved! You look so ill. We will remedy that." She looked over to her Jaffa. 'Put this one in the Sarcophagus. Put him with the others." Hathor pointed a long delicate finger at Saven.

Daniel got his first good look at Saven since they had been attacked now. He was bleeding heavily out of a shoulder wound.

"Put him in the Sarcophagus! He needs help!" Daniel pleaded.

"Why should I help him? He intruded upon my sacred temple!" Hathor looked angrily at Daniel.

"I'll do anything," Daniel pleaded, knowing exactly what he was saying. _Maybe you can save him. Maybe you can free them! Get her to trust you. Then we can all leave, escape through the Stargate!_

Hathor looked at him, as though not quite sure what he was meaning. But in the end, she didn't seem to care. "You will do what I want, you have no other choice," she smiled coldly, with a haughty laugh in her eyes.

There was no one left to save him. Daniel felt a layer of terror encompass him, making him let out a short shiver. _If Jack were in my place, he'd know how to escape. He'd have some choice words to say too, I bet. _Daniel let the warmth of the memories of Jack ease the fear. He would do what ever he had to for everyone else's sake. He would succeed. He had to.

Saven was dragged back into a cell where the rest of SG-3 and SG-1 were. The group didn't look too the worse for wear. Kesler was wounded in the upper thigh, but he was the worse of the group. He looked a bit pale.

Carter and O'Neill were asleep. Teal'c stood as a guard around his friends. Merker looked up as the guards dropped Saven down. "Where is Dr. Jackson?" He asked. Teal'c looked stoically over at Saven, nothing on his face betraying his inner feelings.

"He was injured, bad. Shot in the stomach. Hathor is going to send him through the sarcophagus," he said, pain making it harder to talk.

"Why bother save him if she's just going to kill us all anyways?"

Kesler coughed at the question. "Don't you remember what happened at the base?" he asked back.

Merker's face became ashen. "If she plans to… do you think that Jackson will spill everything? Tell her to escape?"

Teal'c answered this one. "I do not believe Daniel Jackson would endanger the safety of Earth for his sake. He would rather die." The tone was so deep and soothing, it was hard to believe that they could bear such news.

"Do you think she will kill him?" Saven looked up to Teal'c.

"Indeed. When he does not provide the information she requests she will have no use for him."

"Or close to none." Saven glared at Kesler for the remark. Kesler looked down at his hands, and then looked away because his hands were too close to his wound for comforting thoughts. "That was uncalled for. I apologize."

Saven softened his look. "Lets take a look at that leg of yours."

It could have been much worse, that was for sure, but it could have been better. _If he had never been shot! _Saven swallowed his anger. Anger would not help Kesler's leg or their escape.

The muscle had been torn apart, but the bone seemed unscathed. With some assistance, Kesler would be able to get out. He wouldn't be able to walk alone for some time, that was a given. Saven torn off some of his shirt to twist around Kesler's leg as a tourniquet. The shirt soaked up a lot of Kesler's blood, and slowed the bleeding after about half and hour. Kesler had fallen into a restless sleep. O'Neill and Carter both came out of their deep sleeps.

"Whoa, when did you get here?" Jack looked at Saven.

"About two hours ago I guess."

"Daniel?"

"Sarcophagus, Colonel."

"Ah. Died again?" he asked lightly, certainly trying to lighten the situation.

"No. He was alive last I saw him. He was shot down pretty bad though, right in the stomach. We thought we had found the cells you would be held in so Daniel was at point, I guarded his six. Two Jaffa came from inside, shot us down before we had a chance to fire. The cells were empty anyways. He should be coming out of the sarcophagus anytime now."

"Ah. Well, we had a group… interrogation session we'll call it, by the snake herself. That is probably where we were." Jack leaned into the light and Saven could see the red burn mark of the hand device. He winced sympathetically. "Ouch. Damn snakes. Get too much use from those hand device."

Jack gave him a half smile with raised eyebrows. "That's what snakes do best."

Carter pulled herself forward. She looked awfully pale as well. "I don't think I've met you," she said, thrusting her right hand forward. "Major Sam Carter."

"Colonel Kurt Saven, SG-3, at your service," Saven smiled and shook her hand firmly. Sam smiled weakly then leaned back against the wall.

Kesler moaned out in his sleep. Sam looked over at him, a worried look running across her face. She reached over Jack to place her hand on his forehead. "He's burning up. I think his wound is infected. He needs to get out of here, soon."

_When will the problems end? _

"How are we getting out of here?" Saven asked.

Jack winced at the question. "Still working on that one. We need to secure a weapon somehow, and I'm kinda stuck on that."

Saven leaned his head back on the cold stonewall. "We'll think of something. I'll sleep on it."

Daniel opened his eyes to the blinding white glow of the sarcophagus. He clenched his eyes shut again. "Never get used to that," he said to himself. The light died down and the sarcophagus lid opened up, allowing Daniel to escape its prison. Two Jaffa stood waiting for him. Daniel looked at the black tattoos on their foreheads. _A lion_. Daniel thought back to his Egyptian mythology, eyes shut in concentration. _Hathor was depicted as part cow part human, a cow or a beautiful woman. Not a lion. But then there is Sekhmet, Hathor's evil slaughtering side that is depicted as part lion. _Daniel opened his eyes wide. _This is Hathor's evil side, the goddess of war in upper Egypt, the woman whom Ra had to trick into drinking blood colored wine to stop her slaughter of humanity. This could be a major problem. _The two Jaffa grabbed Daniel by his arms and forced him to walk forward. Daniel knew that fighting would only make matters worse. They pulled him into the throne room, which was a mix of Mayan and Egyptian make. Daniel still wondered about that. How had Hathor, _or Sekhmet_, he reminded himself, come into control of this world? There must have been a goa'uld of Mayan lineage here before. But then how had Hathor been found in a Mayan temple sarcophagus before she had come to the SGC before? Did he finally have enough proof to prove his papers about cultures crossing to be completely true? _Of course the military would never let you say a word and even if they did everyone would think you were loony saying you went to another world where the Mayan and Egyptian civilizations still survive through an alien device making a stable wormhole. I would be put in a padded room before I could count to three, _Daniel thought. _Ironic, try to prove something all your life, and when you finally can, you really can't. _

Daniel then was released from the grip of the Jaffa. Not quite expecting this, he staggered a bit, then regained his balance.

Hathor's voice echoed from her large golden throne, "Your mighty, the prisoner has semue. Bow before your Goddess, Queen of all Gods and Goddesses!"

Daniel refrained from doing so. He was looking into her eyes. There was a certain fire in them that hadn't been there before. "You aren't Hathor, are you? You're Sekhmet?"

"Kneel!" She commanded, her voice carrying.

A Jaffa assisted the archeologist in the simple command. Daniel fell to his knees.

"Who killed Ra?" she demanded.

"We did. I was there with Colonel Jack O'Neill. Ra is dead, you are glad, right?"

"You shall pay for your evil deeds!" Sekhmet/Hathor waved some Jaffa over.

"Before you told us you hated Ra!" Daniel cried out desperately.

"Kegalo! We were the protector of Ra, and you have killed him! We have failed our Father because of you! You shall pay!"

Sekhmet/Hathor placed her hand forward, towards Daniel and the metal hand device appeared into view. The red ball lit up, covering Daniel in a sickly red light.

"Fight it!" Daniel tried to tell the host, maybe she had some strength after all those years. "Tyger! Noc'ri'ton!" Daniel tried to encourage the host through the pain.

"You ha'shak! My host died when I took her body! She cannot hear you! Your pleads are purposeless!" The energy of the hand device wavered as Sekhmet spoke. Daniel could see a flicker of doubt on her face.

"Please," Daniel begged as the hand device came full blast again. Blackness seeped around the edges of his vision. He couldn't hold out much longer. Daniel felt his eyes roll back as he passed out. _This is it. It's over and I couldn't save anyone. _

**Goa'uld dialect translations:**

**Na'noweia si'taia**- you are hear to destroy me

**Nafi**- right

**Semue**- risen, come back to life

**Kelago**- Silence

**Tyger**- stop it, end

**Noc'ri'ton**- help me out of this

**Ha'shak**- very weak or foolish person


	21. Chapter 21

Sorry, motivational issues again. I've taken to watching Lost on tv-links lately and it's taken most of my time. I will be finishing this story up soon, but not yet. Left you with a bit of excitement left yet. Please review, it does make updates come faster. I would beg on my hands and knees, but I don't think you'd care. Everyone can review, tell me what they think, what is good, what is bad, yatta yatta ya. Okay, that's really it. Read on!

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Jack felt himself being dragged. Two strong hands pulled him by his arms. A terrible pain ran up his left side. He was on the verge of consciousness. His body was weak and battered.

The group was coming back from its latest torture session. This time Colonel Saven had been added. Everyone had been stabbed, poisoned and had electric charges shot through him or her with the hand device, but Jack was by far the best off of the group. In fact, Jack figured he was the only one semi aware of his surroundings. Maybe Teal'c was, but Jack couldn't tell from where he was. Jack heard the bars of their cell pulled open and each member of the crew unceremoniously tossed in. Kesler was the only one who was missing. He had taken a rough beating, and with the wound he already sported Jack was sure he hadn't made it.

Jack's arm throbbed and ached. He was sure the bone had been pulled from the joint. The continuous pain was making his head hurt. _I hope you're in a better place Daniel. _Tears came to his eyes. The exhaustion, pain and the thought of what may be happening to his emotional friend were doing him in. Jack fell into an uneasy sleep.

Daniel woke up on the floor in the throne room. He wasn't sure how long he had been out, but he was certain it hadn't been long. Hathor, _Sekhmet,_ Daniel reminded himself, was across the room, speaking with some Jaffa. There was a priestly looking man with a large golden chalice in his hands. He was kneeling and offering it to Sekhmet. She smiled a somewhat cold smile and took the cup, sipping it slowly. The jaffa pulled the priest to his feet and led him away.

Daniel watched as Sekhmet seemed to waver on her feet and swayed. A look of alarm crossed her face as two Jaffa came to assist her. She noticed Daniel watching her from his sprawled position on the floor. Her eyes flashed as she pointed at him. "You," she hissed, "you have done this!" The Jaffa did not seem alarmed at her statement and came towards him. One continued to support his goddess while the other pulled Daniel to his feet. He staggered, head pounding at the effects of the hand device. The Jaffa carried the two through a door behind the throne. Daniel could see that Sekhmet had completely passed out.

What the hell is happening here? Did someone just drug Sekhmet? How didn't the symbiote stop it? Daniel noticed that they had passed into a much more personal set of rooms. The rooms were lavishly decorated and filled with gold and jewels. Daniel was placed upon a large bed, heavily cushioned and fancifully designed. Sekhmet was placed in a chair rivaling her throne. She came to after a few moments. Daniel sat himself up in the bed, the jaffa watching him cautiously out of the corner of their eyes. Daniel watched Sekhmet. Her eyes fell upon him and she smiled. He looked into her eyes. The fire of Sekhmet was gone.

"Welcome, Beloved. We knew you could not bear being separated from us," Hathor's cold two-toned voice laughed. Daniel shivered. What is this? I don't understand! Is Hathor some drugged up dual personality goa'uld? I know in history that Hathor and Sekhmet are the same person, or thing I guess more accurately describes the, but are they the same goa'uld too? Questions raced through Daniel's mind.

"Where are my friends?" Daniel asked, hoping against hope to distract her.

"Do not worry about them. They are nothing now that we are together." Her eyes flashed. She dismissed the jaffa guards and stepped gracefully up to the bed. Daniel pulled himself off the bed, energized from the fear he felt. He didn't want a repeat of last time. He couldn't take it. It would be too much.

"Don't touch me!" He warned her.

She looked at him as though he was a child. "Or what?" she asked mockingly.

"I will blow you to Hell, even if it means I'm going too," Daniel's voice wavered. He had no way to escape her clutches and she knew it.

"Come here, Beloved. We will show you that you can love us just as much as we love you." She slipped off the bed and walked seductively towards him.

"Love?" Daniel scoffed. "Can a goa'uld love? Can you feel anything but hate and anger? Tell me what is going on? What happened to Sekhmet?"

"Sekhmet will rise once again. She is sleeping now. The kind priests make a drug to keep her asleep. Sometimes she will take it, sometimes she will not. When she sleeps, we rise."

"How were you in the SGC and not Sekhmet?"

"Our worshippers leave us this drug for us. While we slept in the sarcophagus, the drug was made many times over and left in hope that we, the most beloved of all Gods, would rise and not the wicked Sekhmet. We drank all that was there in a dreaded thirst, and Sekhmet fell deeply asleep. We then ruled without her and her wicked ways." Hathor seemed to be proud of her doings. "Sometimes we are able to trick her, and she will drink more than normal."

"Trick her how?"

"Make her dreadfully thirsty. She will drink anything that appears as blood. The priests have learned this."

"So Sekhmet is bloodthirsty," Daniel smirked at the joke. Hathor frowned, uncertain of his meaning.

"She kills for pleasure. We have better uses of our time, and it is not this mindless talking." Hathor approached Daniel, backing him into a corner. Her breath toughed Daniel's cheek and found it's way into his mouth.

Suddenly she didn't seem so bad. She was a misunderstood loving goddess. She never wanted to hurt anyone, just rule them as best as she could. Daniel fell into her as she wrapped her arms around him. "Tell us, Beloved. How do we get in through your Stargate?"

Jack had pulled himself up against a wall with his good arm. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes. He was so tired, but he wanted to find a way to escape and save Daniel. Certainly there was something he could do. Sleep took Jack before he could find what he was searching for. He woke to the concerned whispers of someone near him. Jack waited for his body to fully wake up before opening his eyes. Sam was talking to Merker and Teal'c in hushed tones. Teal'c was the first to see Jack awake.

"It is good to see you well again," Teal'c said, bowing his head slightly.

"Thanks, T. Good to see you too."

"Is your shoulder injured badly?" Sam asked, worry in her voice.

"I think it's out of joint. I need some one to pull it back in."

Sam crawled over, light hitting the nasty scrap and bruise across the right side of her face. "I'm going to pull on it really hard, sir, so try to hold still. This will hurt, but your arm will be somewhat operational afterwards." Jack nodded his approval.

Carter wrapped her hands firmly around his wrist and yanked.

Jack gasped. Pain shot through his arm, side and neck. After a few deep breathes, the pain started to ebb. "Are you okay, sir?"

"I am fine, just peachy," Jack smiled sourly, lines around his eyes and mouth showing the true pain he felt.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I had to…" Sam gushed.

"Carter! I know!" Jack snapped Sam out of her apology. "You don't need to apologize."

Merker looked nervously at the two. "I hate to interrupt, but we need to get out of here and find Kesler and Jackson."

Jack looked over Sam's shoulder at the Major. "What do you suppose we should do, Major?"

The conversation was interrupted by Captain Peicewise waking. He grabbed his arm, with out thinking as he drudged from the depth of sleep. He was showing a bloodied gash across his forehead and most likely a broken arm. Elbows weren't supposed to bend that way.

"Peicewise? How are you feeling?" Sam asked, keeping the alarm from her face.

"Aching a bit. Fine otherwise. Why?"

"Your arm is broken."

Peicewise took a glance at his arm and his eyes grew wide. Jack could tell he was about to go into shock. Sam saw it too. She wrapped her and Teal'c jacket around him and talked soothingly to him until he fell asleep again. Merker then put his jacket around Sam. "You need it more than I," he had said with a smile. Sam accepted the gracious offer.

"I think we should try to break out when they take us to the next torture session," Merker suggested.

"Indeed. That is when it would be most probable for our escape to be successful," Teal'c agreed.

"So we are supposed to take out five, six guards, with the four of us who can fight, maybe five if Saven is all right." Jack knew he sounded skeptical. He felt skeptical. He knew it was their best shot, but it wasn't a good one. What if they failed?

"Sir I think it's our only shot. We can't sit and do nothing, getting more and more beaten as the days go by. We can't let Daniel stay in her hands!" Sam sounded so sure. Emotion rose to the brim of her voice.

"I know. That's why I am agreeing with you. We should fight. If we lay in wait here we may be able to get a zat gun from a guard before they even know we are doing anything. This is the narrowest place, making it easier, one guard at a time."

"But at the same time, that means only one person can fight that guard at a time."

"If we can draw the guard far enough into the cell, we should be able attack with three of us. That may allow the next guard to enter, which means we will need someone to be ready to attack him," Jack explained.

Sam nodded, "I think this could work!"

"Okay. Sam, Merker and T, you will attack the first guard. I will help you until the next guard comes, which I will then take on."

"Why you sir? Why not me? I can take a guard on in hand to hand combat."

"Indeed. I am best equipped for an attack as that." Teal'c argument made sense.

Jack thought for a moment, eyes closed. "All right, Teal'c, I agree with you. You will be able to take him out best. He's all yours."

Teal'c smiled, sort of, and lowered his bald shiny head. "I am pleased that you value my assistance, O'Neill."

"All the time, Teal'c. All the time."

Jack could hear the guards coming. It had been almost a full day since the plot hat been hatched and the group was waiting silently in the darkness of the cell for the first guard to enter.

Colonel Saven had awakened, but was injured severely and had died during the night. Sam said it was probably internal bleeding. Merker had not taken it well. Peicewise was asleep now, his arm in a makeshift splint. Sam had taken parts of Saven's shoe to try and keep Peicewise's arm straight with shoelaces to keep the brace up. Merker had protested originally, feeling that they were robbing the dead, but had lightened up after seeing how it may help Peicewise's arm heal somewhat correctly.

One guard came into the room and was immediately bomb barded with people attacking him. Merker used all the negative energy his body was holding to whack the man so hard he fell to the ground unconscious. Teal'c had taken the second guard out just as quickly with a head butt. The other three jaffa drew zat guns and staffs ready before entering. Teal'c took out one. Sam was hit with a zat energy blast, knocking her flat. One was shot with his fellow jaffa's gun that Teal'c had managed to take command of, and the other was overwhelmed by Jack and Merker. Now Jack had to make a decision. Leave Sam and Peicewise here to possible be taken prisoners again while they rescued Daniel, take Peicewise and Sam with them, or leave on conscious person behind to guard them while the other two go for Daniel, and Kesler Jack reminded himself.

Jack knew Kessler was most likely dead, but he also knew Daniel most likely was not.

Jack presented the options to the two other men present. "Which is the best option?" he asked.

Merker thought for a moment before answering. "What about two people taking Carter and Saven and Peicewise out and one person going in for Jackson." Jack noticed how he didn't mention Kesler. Maybe he too had given up hope for his friend and teammate's well being.

"Teal'c and you carry these three out. If it's too much, leave Saven behind." Merker made as if to protest, Jack cut him off. "This is what he'd want. He wouldn't want one of you getting shot down because you were lugging his dead body around. He is at peace now, far from the bastards we have yet to deal with. I will go and find Daniel. He will probably react best to me finding him anyways. I want you two to get through that gate as fast as you can. Do not send help, they will only give us more casualties and prisoners. I will get through as soon as I can with Daniel." Teal'c bowed his head in agreement. It was the best option. Teal'c could carry two people. No one else could. Merker didn't know Daniel well enough to get Daniel. That left Jack.

"Carter should wake up before you get through the gate, so that will make things a little easier. Good luck."

"To you as well, O'Neill." Teal'c heaved Peicewise and Saven up on his shoulders. Jack noticed how he left Merker with the lightest of the bunch. He had to smile. Jack grabbed the weapons from the guards on the floor. He zapped up the bodies, making them disintegrate. Then he handed a weapon to each. Teal'c put his zat between his skin and his pants on his back, seeing as he could not carry both people and a gun. Merker managed the same.

The group left the prison together. Jack followed them to a certain point, then left to find the room that appeared to be a throne room for the ruling goa'uld. Damn that Hathor. If Daniel has a scratch on him, she will pay.

No one was in the throne room except a few lone jaffa guards entering from a room somewhere behind the throne. Jack shot them down easily enough with his zat.

Where would I hide if I were a goa'uld? What do these people do all day anyways, besides torture a few prisoners, eat, sarcophagus themselves and seduce people? Do they actually do any ruling? Jack distracted himself from the seriousness of the situation with the questions. Jack thought of checking out behind the throne, from the darkened doorway the jaffa had come from. There could be something back there.

And if there isn't, I'll feel terrible that I am wasting time when Daniel needs to get out of here. Then another Jaffa came out. Jack shot the jaffa down before he could even notice him. The jaffa looked so thin and wiry compared to the bulk of the others. Never seen a jaffa like that! Then Jack drew close. He looked closely at the jaffa. The sandy hair seemed faintly familiar. Jack rolled the Jaffa over with his foot. Kesler! Jack recognized the man with trepidation. The symbiote had to have come from somewhere and he recalled all to well how they had been made at the SGC. Jack slipped into the corridor behind the throne. Please be back here! Please be all right! Say there is another way, anything. Jack was shaking a bit with anxiety. He feared what he'd find.


End file.
